Breaking Down and Coming Together
by fortheloveofbrittana
Summary: AU: Lawyer!Santana & MedicalExaminer!Brittany - Description inside!
1. The Perks of Decaf

Breaking Down & Coming Together

A story by B & H || Follow us on Tumblr - fatelaidahand - Santana || warmlikepeppermint - Brittany

**Summary** - AU || A journey through love & heartache. Lawyer!Santana MedicalExaminer!Brittany (Rizzles,Svu,Glee theme) At the end of the day when the world is clouded with darkness, I see you for who you really are. You break down and we come together, then and only then can we finally begin to see the light.

**Authors Note**: The bulk of this story takes place in present day. To understand the complicated yet beautiful relationship between the two girls, we first need to provide a bit of history. Any flashbacks will be denoted with a "timestamp" that will alert you to what setting you're currently reading.

Additional note - this story will be moved to a different account once stops being a dick, we'll keep you posted :)

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**Santana POV**

(7 years earlier ... ) September 2005

I reluctantly made my way down to the cafeteria from my on-campus apartment. I was perfectly content hiding away in there for the next 3 years, but my stomach disagreed with me. I made a mental note to buy groceries after I had settled in; I didn't want to be in this situation again. The cafeteria would surely be overrun with people and I wasn't in the mood for making small talk. Everything was bigger here and it made me feel unsettled. The campus, the class rooms, even the student body was bigger. I wasn't talking quantity; I literally meant the people were _actually_ bigger. Didn't anyone know the meaning of portion control? I scoffed as I passed by a group of overweight students pigging out on some pizza on a picnic table in the quad. I'm not quite sure if they heard me or not and frankly I didn't care. I was not skilled in the "making friends" department so I never really tried to socialize with people I didn't know. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a loner or anything, I was just very selective with the people I allowed into my life; I had a right to be.

I grew up in foster care. My father was a terrible man to say the least; he raped and killed my mom the day of my 9th birthday and then a few weeks later the police found him, or what was left of him, burning in his car on the side of the highway. Great memory for a 9 year old, right? It never mattered; I learned at a very young age that the only person I needed in my life was me. I got my first job when I was 16 and hadn't stopped working since. I'd made my way through undergrad without anyone's help and I planned to live the remainder of my life the same way. I didn't need anyone to protect me. Actually, I needed to be the one doing the protecting. That's what brought me to Boston University. I only needed to survive a few more years here, then I could head out to New York or Los Angeles or somewhere that needed my help. I wanted to work with the attorneys in the Special Victims Unit and I wasn't going to settle for anything less.

The cafeteria, as I expected, was crawling with people. The vibrant humming of different conversations made my head spin. I headed over to the nearest counter and grabbed a pathetic looking salad before I spotted the coffee stand. Coffee, the one consistent thing in my life; it could make any day better.

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**Brittany's POV**

I was exhausted. I knew that the EMSS program was going to be challenging, but add in a part time job to pay the bills and you had me…the walking zombie. Growing up, I had dreamed of being a dancer. My mom was a gorgeous dancer and even had a stint in the New York City Ballet; that was before her slipped disc and torn ACL. She loved to dance more than I did, but she always shuffled me away from doing it as a career. "Keep it as a hobby, Honey Bee," she'd say, "because once your body is tired, you won't have anything to fall back on." It made me sad to think she values so little of what she has to offer the world, besides dance.

Her incessant poking and prodding finally paid off. I gave up my dreams of being a dance major and wandered into the science field. I grew up the daughter of a surgeon, so the sciences had always intrigued me a little bit. I'm not great with people. Sure, I'm nice, but I can get overwhelmed easily and I tend to get frazzled. But science? It was a more solitary practice. It was something I could concentrate all of my attention on while still helping others in some way. So that was how I found myself here, a first year grad student at BU Medical School…serving up coffee.

I rubbed the heels of my hands over my eyes and willed the sleepiness to hold off for just one more hour. The end of my shift couldn't come soon enough. It was when I was standing at the register, my hands pressed to my eyes, that I heard the impatient tapping of a shoe against the linoleum floor. I sighed deeply, pulled my hands away, and leaned onto the counter, praying it would hold me up. I gave a lazy grin to the girl standing in front of me before reciting my mantra.

"Welcome to Java Joe's, what can I getcha?"

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**Santana POV**

I stared at the girl behind the counter for longer than I had meant to. She was breathtakingly beautiful and I was instantly caught off guard. She had long, wavy blonde hair and the bluest eyes I had ever seen. As soon as I was aware of my inappropriate gawking I straightened up my posture and focused on the task at hand. Coffee.

"Columbian Blend, one sugar, no milk, extra strong," I demanded. She continued to lean on the counter and stare down at me with a goofy grin. Our unbroken eye contact made me feel uneasy and she just kept looking at me with that smile on her face. For a moment I thought maybe she didn't understand what I'd said.

"Did you not hear me or somethi-" I started.

"Will that be all for you?" She politely interrupted.

I nodded my head and watched her effortlessly skip away to make my drink. I looked around and noticed that she was the only one working. It didn't seem like she minded very much but still, it must be lonely spending the day at work with no one to talk to, other than customers barking orders at you. My train of thought was interrupted when she appeared again in my line of view. She handed me the coffee and smiled when I handed her a $10 bill.

"Keep the change," I said, returning her smile. I didn't know why I was being so nice to this girl or why I felt like she deserved my kindness, but I didn't want to give it too much thought. I quickly turned around and started to walk away before she could protest or question my kind gesture. I sighed softly and raised the cup to my lips, imagining a life where I could attend a lesbian college. I'd been attracted to girls for as long as I could remember; I'd also attended conservative schools for just as long. This didn't exactly help me in the relationship department, so over the years I had developed a tendency to shrug things off with girls I had an attraction to. This was another reason why I wanted to avoid making new friends here. I cringed at the thought of going through my "coming out" process all over again, especially to people I didn't give a fuck about. I was too old for that now.

As my thoughts wandered I took a sip of coffee and my brief moment of respite came to a screeching halt. The liquid swirled violently around my mouth and forced its way down my throat. I shuddered from the awful taste that I recognized in an instant; it was decaf. I turned on my heels and briskly walked back over to the blonde girl, slamming the cup down on the counter.

"Tell me that I'm imagining things and you did not just give me fucking decaf coffee." I hissed.

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**Brittany POV**

My first thought was maybe I didn't speak the words out loud. Sometimes I do that. I'll be meaning to say something and the words never leave my lips, even though my mind is screaming at me to blurt them out. Other times I try to keep my thoughts to myself and they just come tumbling forward like little brain landslides. I maintained my stance on the counter as I watched the bronzed beauty stare back at me. Just as I was about to repeat my greeting, she barked her order at me as if _I _was the one taking forever to decide what _I_ wanted. She was beautiful and extremely feminine, but she had the bite of a pitt bull and the tact of child. I couldn't help but observe her with a smile though, because I could see the light dimples in her cheeks and I've always been a sucker for dimples. Her irritation, however, became noticeable when her eyes turned a shade darker and the dimples disappeared. I snapped back to attention immediately.

"Columbian Blend, one sugar, no milk, extra strong," I repeated, turning away from her and shuffling over to one of the several coffee pots that lined the rear counter. Whatever happened to just coffee? Now there's decaf and sugar free and double shots and soy and just so many alternatives that make my head all fuzzy. I filled a travel cup nearly to the brim, added a sugar, stirred, stirred, stirred, and popped a top on it with practiced ease. I glided back to my waiting customer, slid the cup across the counter, and took the $10 bill she handed me. When she told me to keep the change my eyebrows disappeared into my hairline and a smile cracked across my face in shock. That was like a 200% tip. Before I could protest, she spun on her heel and strode off in the opposite direction. I was left holding a ragged bill in my hand, mumbling a soft "Thanks," that disappeared between us.

I rung up the coffee, made change from the $10 bill, and put the amount she left behind into the tip jar. Sure, it was meant for me, but sharing tips was part of the job and I'd feel mean just taking it all for myself. My mind was trapped somewhere between disbelief and exhaustion and I could feel myself losing touch with reality. I was starting to feel the blissful lightness of an impending daydream when a white cup came crashing down on the counter and a venomous voice lashed out at me.

My heart felt like a hummingbird mid-flight and my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. The pitt bull was bearing its teeth and my insides were trembling in fear and embarrassment.

"I-I'm sorry.." I stuttered, completely thrown off guard by her upfront attack. I had been warned about mixing up the pots, especially decaf and regular, but I never thought it would cause this kind of reaction. I took the cup from her and repeated my apologies as if they were on a loop and the play button was stuck. I tossed the old drink out, fixed her a new cup, and handed it to her with trembling hands. Adrenaline was pumping through my system and I was feeling shaky on top of my sleepiness.

"Why the hell would I drink crap like that. I drink this for the buzz not the shitty taste." That was her only retort as I opened the register and pulled out the $10 she handed me earlier.

I slid the money across to her and gave her my most sincere smile.

"Super sorry for the mix up…It..It won't happen again. It's on the house," I stammered awkwardly before swallowing hard and tugging my bottom lip between my teeth. _So much for that tip_ I inwardly sighed to myself.

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**Santana POV**

I grabbed my crumpled money and the fresh coffee from the counter and stormed off. As I walked away, muttering about her incompetence, I was stung with an unfamiliar feeling. Guilt. I'm not exactly sure what made me glance back towards her, maybe it was because I finally registered the "kicked puppy" look that was on her face, or maybe not. I silently scolded myself for feeling this way. _Just because she's gorgeous doesn't mean you treat her any differently Santana. You know girls here are off limits_, I said to myself, trying to prevent my next move. It was no use.

I glanced back behind me and saw her melancholy expression. It was then that I lost control, like someone flicked a switch in my brain and I had no power over my words or actions. I turned towards her and walked back over to the counter slowly. Trying not to scare her, I placed the $10 bill back on the counter; she had her back facing me and was taping labels onto the coffee pots.

"I'm so stupid, I can't believe I have to use these dumb labels again," she muttered to herself quietly.

I heard the self loathing in her voice and recognized it instantly. I used the same tone when I scolded myself for making a mistake. I smiled briefly at the thought of having something in common with the beautiful girl. My smile soon faded though when I realized that I was making her feel incompetent. I peered down at the sign next to the register, it read: **Your friendly service provided by Brittany**. It had hearts and smiley faces drawn around the edges and I had a sneaking suspicion that she was behind it. I cleared my throat trying to get her attention.

"You're not stupid Brittany," I said, inadvertently startling her. "It was a mistake and it could happen to anyone. I'm just having a bad day, and I shouldn't have been a bitch to you." I smiled softly and moved the money across the counter, closer to her, catching a quick glance of her elated expression before walking away.

I was fighting with my brain at this point. _What the hell is this bullshit and what have you done with Santana Lopez? Go back over there and take your money back. You don't let people walk all over you_. I ignored the voice inside my head and grinned shyly to myself. It felt nice seeing Brittany's smile again, and it felt nice knowing I probably helped make her day better. I don't know what it was about that girl, but I liked her. I would even go as far as saying maybe one day we could possibly, maybe, be friends.

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	2. Columbian Blend Extra Strong

**Chapter 2 - Columbian Blend. Extra strong**

**(Still - 7 years earlier) October 2005**

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**Brittany POV**

I had been working at Java Joe's since my sophomore year as an undergrad, so I had been the observer to every kind of character that walked the lawns of Boston U. There were stoners and preps and jocks and nerds, just like an overgrown high school, only the majority of the students could drink, which made people watching that much more enjoyable. Still, after all my time working there, and the countless repeat customers, I could only manage to forge _her _face with _her_ order. _Columbian Blend, one sugar, no milk, extra strong_. She didn't come around every day, but even when she didn't stop by I would notice her side-stepping people and marching her way to a secluded table to bury her nose in either her computer or half a dozen books while nibbling some sort of healthy snack. She became the highlight of my day, a constant in the erratic flow of students who were pushy and sometimes downright rude.

Nearing the end of October I had finally gotten into the rhythm of classes, and lab work, and rotations, and Joe's, that I was less zombie-like and more Brittany-like. I was constantly kept busy, but it made me hum with productiveness. It was the Tuesday before Halloween when she came bustling through the glass double doors, her hair was soaked and she was weighed down by the sack of books she always toted everywhere. For some odd reason my heart sped up and I couldn't take my eyes off of her as she huffed her way across the cafeteria and slammed her books down with a clang that echoed throughout the nearly empty space; everyone else, it seemed, was either already partying or locked in their rooms for midterms. I watched anxiously as she tossed her belongings onto the table without care, which, from my past observations, was totally unlike her. My stomach twisted into a tight knot and it literally felt like my heart dropped a few inches lower in my chest. I didn't really know her, but it made me feel awful that she was in such a poor mood. I surveyed her actions a bit longer before a proud smile crept across my face. _Columbian Blend, one sugar, no milk, extra strong_, I recited to myself as I hurriedly prepared a travel cup with regular coffee and the tiny bit of sweetness. I was about to leave my post when another little thought gem twinkled before me. _Mom always made me cookies when I felt down_ I remembered, peeking into the baked goods cabinet. No cookies. I sighed softly before choosing what I thought was the next best thing.

With goodies in hand, I approached the seething girl as if she were a wounded lioness; I didn't want to end up her next kill. I cleared my throat softly and waited until her fiery brown eyes found my own. Her gaze was startlingly intense, but after a few moments it softened and I was once again able to breathe. With a thick, nervous swallow and the slight tilt of my head, I held out my presents.

"I promise I didn't mess up this time. And I made it extra strong…threw in a shot of espresso. I know it's not your exact order, but you look like you could use a pick-me-up," I explained, smiling, as her perfectly manicured hand wrapped around the hot cup with little hesitation. "And I know you're big on fruit and salads and stuff, but it wouldn't kill ya to have something sweet once in a while. It's no chocolate chip cookie, but I hear the pumpkin spice ones are the best." I set the aromatic muffin down carefully in front of her and wiped both of my hands on my apron. "On the house." My voice came out a bit lower with my last words and a blush blossomed across my face. "Let me know if I can get you anything else, okay?" I gave her a lopsided smile and turned to walk away; it was my ever-present curiosity that made me turn back. "I'm Brittany, by the way. I don't think we've ever officially met." I offered my hand to her delicately and waited nervously for either the dimples or the scowl to grace her face.

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**Santana POV**

Today was the worst day of my entire life. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration but still, it was pretty rough. I felt as if everything was falling spectacularly to pieces right in front of me and there was nothing I could do about it. I woke up late this morning and missed my first two classes because my asshole roommate decided that 2am would be the perfect opportunity to start her insanity workout. If I were to someday go to jail for murder, it would be because of that girl. I loathed her presence in my life more than anything; her name alone was enough to make me cringe. _Sugar Motta_. What kind of name was that? Was she a high class prostitute or perhaps named after a jar of applesauce? I'll never know.

Now, I admit that sometimes I could be unreasonable, but I didn't think this was one of those cases. My best friend from undergrad used to tell me I was a ticking time bomb and that I had a short temper when it came to others voicing their opinions. I preferred to think of my "short temper" as a swift and assertive reaction to bullshit, but that's just me. I guess that's another reason why being a lawyer was the right path for me.

I left my apartment without taking a shower or even bothering to change out of my sweats. More importantly, I left coffee-less. As I made my way down the stairs I heard a bunch of girls giggling as I passed by. _One more thing to add to this fabulous day_, I thought to myself. I didn't even have the energy to snap at them. I walked outside and sighed deeply, running my free hand through my disheveled hair. Of course it was raining and of course I didn't bring an umbrella. At this point I felt completely defeated and I hadn't even made it out of my complex yet. I contemplated for a moment about going back up to the apartment and locking myself away in my room, but I knew, with Sugar there, I wouldn't concentrate at all on my studies. I headed out the door and swiftly walked through the downpour, making my way into the cafeteria. All I wanted to do was sit in my corner and hide away from the world, well, most of the world.

People wouldn't bother me if had my nose in my books, this I knew for sure. I sat down in my usual spot by the window in the corner. I had a crystal clear view of everything in the cafeteria, but there was only _one thing,_or person actually, that I was interested in having in my line of view; Brittany. The enchanting blonde only worked 3 days a week, but those days made my entire week bearable. Today, of all days, I needed to experience her bright smile and bubbly personality. _I sound like a complete creep_, I thought to myself; I never intended for it to be this way. The first time I sat down here I had planned on apologizing to her, again, for my poor behavior, but then days turned into weeks, then into months, and finally I gave up. It wasn't very often that someone made me nervous, but somehow Brittany did just that. It was intriguing.

I slammed my books down on the table and took out my laptop; I glanced over towards Brittany and saw her smiling and making polite conversation with a customer. I felt better knowing that we were in the same room but at the same time I was overwhelmed with jealousy. I didn't even know what she and the mystery man were talking about, but I wanted to. I wanted to know everything about her and I couldn't tell you why.

I turned my attention back to my notes and started reviewing for an upcoming exam. There were so many different types of felonies to memorize, not to mention the corresponding penalties; it all made my head spin, in the best way possible. The types of felonies ranged from things as simple as Theft, all the way up to Extortion and Child Pornography; I closed my eyes and tried to recite the paragraph I had just read. I was halfway through when I heard someone clearing their throat in front of me. My eyes shot open, ready to stare down the person that obviously wasn't privy to my wrath. To my surprise, there stood Brittany, breathtaking as ever, holding a coffee cup and a muffin in her hands. She handed them over to me and smiled sweetly. My mind was in such a fog that I didn't even pay attention to what she was saying. I could see from looking into her eyes that she was being genuine though. My heart sank a little as she began to walk away, I opened my mouth to call out her name but she beat me to it. She turned back around and introduced herself, casually reaching out to shake my hand.

I looked back and forth between her eyes and hand a few times before reaching out and shaking it. Her face lit up and my smile was so wide that I thought it might separate itself from my face. She seemed to enjoy my reaction because the next thing I knew she had pulled out the chair in front of me and sat down. This gave me the confidence boost I needed to finally, after over a month, regain my ability to form sentences around her.

"I'm Santana," I said, still smiling up at her. "You really didn't have to do this, you know. I don't want you to still feel bad about the coffee thing; I shouldn't have been so rude to you. I'm really sorry Brittany. I was actually going to apologize to you, again. I know you work 3 days a week, but every time I wanted to go up there you seemed preoccupied with something, so I guess I kind of chickened out." I stopped talking abruptly and my mouth hung open. _Did I really just say all of that out loud? Oh. My. God_.

_Great, just great Santana. You had one shot and you just totally blew it. You opened that big mouth and suddenly you transformed from a mute into a blubbering idiot. Great way to start a conversation._

"Fuck" I muttered under my breath.

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**Brittany POV**

Dimples. Dimples accompanied by sparkling eyes were the responses to my introduction. I felt like a helium filled balloon that was anchored to the earth by the simple connection of her hand in mine. Her wide, glorious smile made me beam from the inside out and I felt like light itself would come bursting out of me. After watching her breeze through my life unnamed, I finally felt like I had something concrete to hold onto. I pulled out the nearest chair and sat down facing her, completely proud of myself for actually being the one to begin introductions. I'm not the most socially adept person, but something about this girl, about _Santana_, made me branch out from my comfort zone.

I listened as she had her own mini brain landslide and couldn't help the small smirk that played across my lips. Her voice was like warm whiskey and it made me think of lazy summer nights listening to jazz while lying out by the lake. It was soothing and beautiful and it put me at ease. I could tell, however, that she was not used to rambling; she cut off her words and looked at me with wide, beseeching eyes. Before I could even say anything, her slightly agape mouth curved over a single swear word.

Cussing usually set my teeth on edge, but this time her mumbled curse made my stomach flutter unexpectedly. My small smirk stretched into a lazy grin and I shook my head slightly.

"Stop apologizing. Maybe we should both stop apologizing, actually." I took a moment to think over what I was saying and nodded slightly. "I'm just glad I actually got a chance to say hi. This is my last shift at Joe's and I was kinda worried I wouldn't see you again." A tingling heat was crawling over my skin, but I ignored it and continued on. "Besides, you're much better company than those coffeepots…totally cliquey." I winked at her and broke off a piece of the muffin that I had brought before popping it in my mouth, "Mmmm. They're right, these are the best." She let out a small laugh and took a piece of the pumpkin bread herself.

We sat there for hours, nibbling away and chatting about everything and nothing. She was a first year law student and I was a first year med student, so we totally understood how the stress of school limited ones' ability to build solid relationships, whether platonic or romantic. It was well past midnight when we realized the odd sound around us was the eerie silence from a completely empty dining hall. We both let out nervous laughter before shrugging it off and preparing to leave for the night. With my confidence now brimming over, I suggested we book a study room to share, just in case we ever needed a quiet place to escape to. She accepted my offer with another swoon-worthy smile and we exchanged numbers. We bid each other goodnight and as I walked away, I couldn't help but send her my infamous "first Brittany text" text: **Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?** The laughter that filled the room made my heart leap. This was definitely something special.

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**Authors Note - For those that asked, there will be about 6-7 chapters leading up to present day. It's important to us both that we do it this way, it will be important later on in our story.**

** SharkGeek - We try to keep the POV's pretty long. We both know how frustrating it can be to constantly skip back and forth when it's not necessary. Thanks for reading and for the input :)**

**Reviews = Happy Authors.**

**- Happy Authors update often :)**


	3. Comfortable Silence

**Chapter 3 – Comfortable Silence**

**Authors Note - There are two separate flashbacks in this chapter, the switch between the two is notated with a date stamp. Thanks for all of the follows and reviews :) It means a lot. xx More reviews = faster updates :) **

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**(July 2006)**

**Santana POV**

I was already 2 months into my 2nd year at BU and time was flying by. Last year was turbulent to say the least. I had never experienced such a heavy course load, nor did I expect it to be so difficult. I suppose I should have though, law school wasn't meant to be easy. First year classes were designed to give students all of the necessary tools and information we needed for the rest of our careers, or at least that's what the professors told us. Personally I thought it was bullshit. Sitting down and memorizing facts and laws was necessary, I totally understood that, but cramming it all into the first 12 months was torture. Thank God Sugar dropped out in the beginning of first year, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to survive the stress of cramming all that crap into my brain _and_ having her annoy the shit out of me every day.

Those first few months with her may have been more of a mind fuck than my entire time spent in law school so far and that was saying something. She was infuriating; I often daydreamed of ways I could exterminate the little cockroach. My favorite had to be the one Brittany helped me come up with. We decided that we could hire a hit-man, possibly Nicholas Cage, but we weren't opposed to Angelina Jolie either. We would have our hit-man kill Sugar and then we'd take over from there. To hide the evidence we would sneak her body into the science building and since Brittany had spent the past year shadowing various medical examiners and surgeons, she could embalm her before I hid her in a wall.

I remember the look on Brittany's face after we, well mostly I, came up with that little plan. She looked like I had just run over her puppy. The playful smirk that had graced her face was now replaced with a mix between fear and sadness. She started babbling on about how she didn't know how to embalm someone and was worried that maybe she'd missed a class or forgot to write something down. She was adorable when she got flustered. After I spent a good 30 minutes calming her down and promising her that the Ancient Egyptian ritual was not a prerequisite for Med School, her addictive bubbly personality appeared once more. We spent the next few hours after that studying and helping each other stay focused on our course work. Brittany also spent that time making me repeatedly swear that I wouldn't harm a hair on Sugar's 'pretty little head.' Her words, not mine. It was these biweekly study sessions that allowed our friendship to blossom throughout the year and from there we started spending a lot more time together. By the time second year rolled around we were significantly more comfortable with each other. It was nice; having Brittany in my life made each day a little brighter. I don't know what it was about her that enthralled me so much, but, whatever it was, it wasn't going away anytime soon. Brittany was definitely something special.

It was the second week in July and I had just arrived home from my first ever trial. Adrenaline was still coursing through my veins and my heart was beating like I had just run a marathon. "My first trial ever," I spoke aloud to myself, letting out a satisfactory sigh. I had been stressing about this case for over a week and today was my chance to prove myself. The second I walked into that courtroom, the nerves that had plagued my existence vanished and I immediately felt at ease. I knew my prosecutor, the witnesses and the defendant, and I knew exactly what I had to do. This was what I came here to do; not paperwork, not stupid little bullshit projects. **This**. I came here to fight for justice. And more importantly, I came to win. Today had been an amazing day and the first thing I wanted to do was tell someone about it.

My heart ached slightly when the first person I thought of was my mom. Every now and then it snuck up on me. She'd been gone for years, I didn't even know her that well, but sometimes I would just get an overwhelming urge to call her up and tell her everything that was going on in my life. It didn't take very long to pull myself out of the fantasy and focus on real people that I could actually talk to; I didn't like to dwell on things. I thought about calling my oldest friend Charlie, but I doubted that he would appreciate it. His line of work consisted of stacking shelves in a local grocery store, so I was sure that telling him about my success would just rub him the wrong way. I started browsing through my contact list, searching for someone to share my joy with, when I heard a knock at the door.

Still surging from my adrenaline injection, I leapt off of the couch and ran to the door. I forcefully yanked it open and there, standing in front of me, was Brittany. It took me a few moments to register her presence; we never really spent time at each other's apartments and her dropping by unexpectedly just added to my already stellar day. I pulled myself out of my drunkenly giddy state and invited her in. She closed the door quietly and quickly turned back around, pulling me into a bear tight hug. I felt myself mold to her, it was a perfect fit. When she released me I couldn't exactly recognize the expression on her face, and it troubled me slightly.

"What was that for and why are you looking at me like that?" I asked, laughing nervously to distract from my blushing.

"I'm proud of you silly! It was your big court case today, right? I wanna hear all the details San! I already know you kicked ass but I need to hear it from you directly," she paused for a moment to take a breath. She always spoke a mile a minute and sometimes she forgot to breathe. Even that was charming.

I watched the rise and fall of her chest carefully. It was amazing how Brittany managed to make something as mundane as breathing seem impressive. I looked down at the ground shyly, smiling inwardly to myself.

"Oh and by the way, after we have story time, I'm totally taking you to see a movie to celebrate," she announced. Her smile alone would have been enough for me today but no, she wanted to take me to a movie and she wanted to hear about my trial. I had to stop myself from choking up, it wasn't very often that anyone cared about what I did, unless I was threatening them to listen to me. It also wasn't very often I cared about what other people thought, but for some reason Brittany made me care. Her words had the ability to impact me and it was absolutely terrifying.

I looked up from the ground and smiled slightly, nodding my head. My cheeks were warm and my head was spinning. "Okay Britt. I'd really like that," I said genuinely, shortening her name into one syllable.

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**Brittany POV**

When I was accepted into the M.D./Ph.D program at BU, I was both ecstatic and terrified. It was going to take major dedication on my part, but when you're passionate about something, the workload doesn't seem as daunting. Because I started in the EMSS program, I knocked out a few of my core classes early on in undergrad, so the first year of the medical program wasn't as full for me as it was for most of the other students. I had already taken my Gross Anatomy, Physiology, Biochemistry, Cell Biology, and Genetics classes, so I was able to focus on the more social aspect of the medical field, primarily Clinical Medicine and Public Health. Having a lesser course load first year, however, spoiled me. When second year rolled around, I was inundated by the research aspect; I spent the bulk of my time in the same study room that Santana and I had reserved during first year. Going there made studying at least partially enjoyable; I'd take five minute breaks and read over the little blurbs that we had graffitied onto the worn wooden table. Lots of them were inside jokes and some of them I couldn't even remember, but I'm sure that at the time they were written, we were howling.

Santana brought out the best in me. I was her sunshine and she was my rainbow. I could make her day brighter, but she was the one who always led me to the pot of gold, whether it was good advice or harsh truth. We believed in each other when we didn't have the energy to believe in ourselves, and that was how we worked. It was symbiotic. And it was beautiful. Though our time together was cut a bit shorter due to both of our increased workloads, it made seeing each other that much sweeter. We tried to text or email on days we knew we couldn't be face to face, but there were also those nights when one of us would show up randomly to the study room bringing gifts in the form of caffeine and snacks. Those nights were some of my favorites because we knew then that we had a mutual investment in each other.

I had started my rounds in first year and I absolutely loved them. Well, I loved a particular set of them. I became enthralled with pathology and by second year I was determined to become a medical examiner. It was like being a crime-fighting doctor. How much cooler could you get than that? Well, besides a superhero that is. Since red capes weren't exactly my thing, I stuck to my plan and gained a shadow position in the medical school's morgue. It may seem morbid, but the bodies didn't scare me. It was the people who were alive and capable of hurting someone to this extent that made me shake with fear. That's another reason I was Santana's number one fan. She wanted to put the bad guys away, and I wanted to help her do it.

In mid July, Santana had her first in-court trial. She had briefly mentioned it the week prior and my jaw had gone slack with wonder; I knew she'd do a stellar job. I may not be the best at remembering certain holidays or even birthdays, but when it came to Santana, I could remember everything, just like her coffee order. I was in the library, again, writing out the last dozen pages for my research paper on muscle contraction when I checked my computer clock. It was 12:30 pm and Santana had been in court for at least two hours already. I smiled to myself, shifted in my seat, and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and sent good vibes out into the universe, hoping maybe she'd feel my spirit there with her. I opened my eyes a few minutes later and focused my attention back to actin and myosin and the simplistic ratcheting cycle which allows our muscles to move. I shook my head slowly and picked up where I left off, describing the affects of rigor mortis. I took a few more of my five minute breaks, but every time I did my mind went straight to Santana and it became harder and harder for me to concentrate back on the task at hand; I finally gave up on taking breaks and worked straight through until 5:30 pm.

My brain felt fuzzy and my eyes were strained from looking at the computer screen all day, but I had finished my paper which I would edit later. I packed up everything and raced out of the study room. I hadn't texted Santana because I didn't know whether she'd have her phone on her and God forbid it go off in court. Unsure as to how long her trial would last, I took it upon myself to congratulate her in person, no matter how long I'd have to wait on her doorstep. For being as close as we were, I had been to her apartment only a handful of times, but the library was our mutual home anyway. When I got to the complex, the elevator was out of order and I groaned inwardly at the thought of Santana's small room on the 7th floor. It didn't matter. I'd climb all the way to heaven for her if I had to. I took the stairs two at a time and shuffled to her unit nearly breathless. The front door was thrown open within seconds of my knocking, and Santana's beautifully surprised face eased the burning in my lungs. I crossed the threshold, closed the door behind me, and pulled my closest friend into the tightest hug I could manage. My body felt ready to collapse, but I used her strength and excitement to keep us upright. When I pulled back away from her all I could do was stare. I was so incredibly proud of her that my heart was ready to burst. All it took was her simple nervous laughter and the rosy hue of her cheeks to send me into a verbal tizzy. My words spilled out like liquid and I could see them wash over her like summer rain. I couldn't contain my most radiant smile as I watched her ride out the emotions waging war inside. She was excited and pumped and proud and nervous and perhaps even a little embarrassed, and all of those faces looked so incredibly stunning on her. I waited patiently until she brought her shy gaze to mine.

"Okay Britt. I'd really like that," she hushed, her complexion still tinted a pale pink. Her words filled me with a tingly feeling that was warm like peppermint and it made my own features blaze with heat. She led me to her small sofa and her excitement once again poured out in waves. She described everything, down to the last detail, even the pattern on the defendant's tie, and when she finished she sat back breathless, her eyes wide and her smile beaming. My smile matched hers and we sat there like two grinning fools for a good five minutes. She shook her head then and let another nervous laugh bubble up.

"Now that I've verbally written my day in novella form, tell me about yours," she said, her eyes catching mine which made my throat constrict slightly. I looked away in mock concentration.

"Mine? Oh, well compared to yours, it was boring. I was in our study room all day writing about how ATP conversion to ADP in the myosin cycle allows…" I looked back at her and her eyes had glazed over which meant she didn't understand anything I was saying. She was still listening though, and that alone made my heart soar. "I had to write about muscle movement and stuff," I explained, shrugging my shoulders and giving her a soft smile. "But now that my paper is done and your trial is over, we can have a little fun, yeah?" I reached out and lightly shoved her shoulder before getting off the couch and stretching out my limbs. "I really wanna see Deep Sea in 3D IMAX. It'll be like we're mermaids!" I turned back around and placed both hands over my breasts. "Only, we won't have to wear those shell bra things," I giggled, giving my breasts a slight squeeze before dropping my hands to my sides. "Come on. Let's go get our Ariel on." I grabbed her hand and pulled her off the couch. She was groaning and mumbling about not wanting to spend that much money on a stupid documentary, but my mind was made up. No amount of Santana grumbles were going to prevent a night of pure relaxation.

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**Santana POV**

We arrived at the theater 30 minutes earlier than we needed to. Brittany insisted that we did so in order to get the best possible seats and no matter how many times I tried to tell her it wouldn't be a problem, she refused to listen. This was the first time she and I had gone to a movie together. To most people this would have seemed strange, but Brittany and I were a different breed of friends. We didn't have to go anywhere or do anything to want to hang out with each other. We were perfectly content just sitting together in silence, which would be just as fun as a movie. That's what I thought at least.

Today I was introduced to a different side of Brittany and I loved every minute of it. Going to the theater brought out a childlike innocence in her that was completely foreign to me. I didn't really spend a lot of time at movie theaters growing up. When you don't have a real family, seeing movies isn't exactly on the top of your to do list. I did however see the occasional movie here and there throughout the years. I would usually go on my own though; it was my little escape from the world. Now I had the pleasure of sharing that with Brittany, or I guess I should say a 10 year old in Brittany's body.

After spending so much time over the past year, listening to her talk about the procedures to identify dead bodies and all the different ways to determine causes of death I was fairly confident that she was the smartest woman I'd ever known. I admired her passion and I enjoyed her quirkiness more than anything. This new side of her was just something to add to the ever expanding list of things I loved. She was Brittany and, to me, she was perfect.

I finally managed to get us into our seats after returning to the concession stand three separate times. The first was for drinks, the second for popcorn and the third for candy, just for good measure. The IMAX stadium was the size of 4 regular movie theaters. I'd never been to one before and I didn't understand how I would be able to watch the whole movie; I couldn't even see the entire screen without moving my head on a swivel.

We sat down together in seats 5a and 5b. I tried to position the snacks around her so she could reach everything, but I failed miserably. She chuckled at my attempt and told me that it was a valiant effort. It seemed like creating little trays of snacks to orbit planet Brittany probably was out of the question. The theater started to fill up quickly and I silently prayed for the seats in front of us to stay vacant. The last thing I wanted was a whale ruining Brittany's underwater experience. I chuckled to myself, noting the unintentional joke I just made in my head. This, in return, earned me a quizzical look and a lighthearted giggle from Brittany. I needed to learn to limit the conversations I had in my head.

Brittany squealed and clapped her hands as the previews started. I glanced over at her and couldn't help but smile, I was basking in the glow of her happiness while simultaneously admiring her existence. I knew at this point that I wouldn't be able to see another movie alone again. The Brittany experience was so much more enjoyable. It continued to amaze me how comfortable and happy she made me, without even doing anything. People say that when you're hurt or angry or sad that you should find your happy place. Well, I was starting to believe that Brittany _was_ my happy place. She was the closest friend I'd ever had.

About half way through the movie, there was a section dedicated sharks. Ever since I could remember, I had a fear of sharks. It's actually pretty unreasonable. I'd never been in the ocean, I'd never even seen one up close, but they still managed to scare the living hell out of me. My nails were digging into the fabric of my chair and I tried to make it seem like I was looking at the screen when really, I had my eyes glued shut. I listened to the sound of the narrator's voice, paying close attention so I would know when I could open my eyes again.

He was describing the different types of sharks and where they originated from. I had to admit that it was actually pretty interesting with my eyes closed, open I would beg to differ though. I loosened my grip on my arm rest as I lost myself in his soothing voice and felt a hand reach out for mine and intertwine our fingers. My eyes shot open instantly and I looked down at Brittany's lap. Our fingers were interlaced together like a carefully woven quilt, resting gently in her lap. I looked up at her, searching for her eyes to meet my own but they didn't, they just stayed fixated on the screen. I turned my head back towards the movie; the sharks were gone but I was even more terrified now than I was when they were there.

I felt Brittany's thumb stroke my hand softly before squeezing a little tighter. My heart was working overdrive to keep up. She kept her eyes on the screen as she leaned over to me and whispered, "I just wanted to make sure you didn't float away with the sharks." My lips curled up into a satisfied smile and I held her hand a little tighter. I didn't want to say anything back to her mainly fearing the loss of our newly acquired contact. So I just sat there and smiled. I think in my heart I knew that this was one of those moments that didn't need words; our actions said it all. I sat there in a blissful silence for the next hour, watching the movie and enjoying Brittany's company. It was official, Brittany S. Pierce was my best friend in the entire world.

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**Brittany POV**

Going to the movies was never just something to do when I was a kid. It was more like a mini vacation. We'd pack our purses full of candy and drinks and sneak them into the theater so we didn't have to pay the outrageous prices for the same items at the concession stand. Unfortunately, I only remembered this family trick once Santana and I had arrived at the theater, both purse-less. It didn't really matter anyway, she probably would have given me her haughty look of disapproval before listing off all of the laws I was breaking. I always enjoyed listening to her explain different facets of the justice system, but sometimes her vast knowledge of the law was irritating, like the week before when she chastised me for J- walking. But, a movie just wasn't a movie unless there were snacks, both salty and sweet, and something to wash them down. Evidently Santana wasn't privy to this knowledge as she had to return to the concession counter multiple times to fill our, well, _my_, order correctly.

With the right amount of goodies in hand, we finally made our way into the theater and took our seats. The room loomed around us like an underground cave, and I couldn't quell the excitement that bubbled in my stomach like champagne. My body was humming with anticipation and I felt ready to churn over into a fit of giggles. There was something about going to the movies that revved me into a good mood. I always loved putting myself into make believe worlds and pretending that the bad things in life could stop with just the simple declaration of, "CUT!"

I was especially excited about this movie, and not just because of the company I held. I always found documentaries fascinating, and a documentary about the ocean? It was like the best combination ever. The ocean was beautiful and dark and mysterious and intriguing, all at the same time, kind of like Santana. She was my ocean girl. At times she would be raging like a tidal storm and at others she'd be as calm as a harbored bay. Navigating those moods took more skill than any sailor could dream of, but for some reason I sailed through her emotions with the confidence of a captain.

There was hardly a time when the two of us didn't end up giggling, and trying to arrange our array of snacks was no different. Huffing lightly, we ultimately decided on creating a little candy factory line along the arm rest between us. When the previews started my excitement reached its climax, and after a few claps and a small fist pump, I settled back into my seat and looked over to find Santana beaming at me with a toothy grin. I let her smile fill me to the brim with joy before shooting her a playful wink and turning back to the screen. I held the bag of popcorn in my lap throughout most of the movie and every so often Santana would reach over and grab a small handful. Usually I can't pry my eyes away from what I'm watching, but I could see her movement in my peripheral vision and it would make me look down to watch her hand glide in and out of the bag, gracefully silent. That's what she was, graceful. Everything about her was graceful. The batting of her eyelashes, the light stroking of her tongue over her bottom lip when she was nervous, the way she flipped her hair over her shoulder effortlessly. I had to will myself to bring my gaze back to the screen in front of me; I didn't pay $12 to stare at Santana. I was lucky enough that I got to do that for free.

I could feel the nervous energy radiating off of Santana when the sharks swam across the screen. I didn't know what caused that fear, but the thought of her heart beating fast and her palms sweating made my own stomach twist. I reached over and pulled her hand into my lap, intertwining our fingers like vines. She wouldn't be able to really see my face in the dark, so instead of looking over at her, I stroked my thumb over her knuckle and hoped that she knew I wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't float away with the sharks," I reassured her, keeping my voice low so that the other movie goers didn't glare at us. I could feel her relax and as she squeezed my hand tighter my heart throbbed. I would do anything to protect her. Santana Lopez was the best friend I'd ever had.

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**December 2007 (Graduation approaching)**

**Britttany POV**

My head was buzzing. Finals were literally leeching the energy out of me. I had never in my life had to cram so much information into my mind at once. It was a new low for me when Santana found me in the study room, my cheek plastered to my anatomy book, a tiny pool of drool soaking into the pages. She rubbed my back and woke me slowly, being careful not to startle me. Once I was lucid, she pulled a pack of little white pills from her purse and slid them across the table to me. She explained that the only way I was going to make it through finals would be to take the caffeine pills now and then crash into a quasi-coma once exams were over. I hesitated until she told me that they worked wonders for her. I knew she'd never hurt me, so I popped a pill out of the foil and swallowed it with a quick sip from my water bottle. I guess I had to learn at some point that caffeine and I, we just don't mix.

There I was, 48 hours post caffeine pill consumption and I had yet to sleep. We were in Santana's bedroom and my body was trembling slightly from the adrenaline and caffeine pumping through my veins. She had one of her huge red law books open on her lap and her legs were draped over mine so that her feet were almost touching my thigh. I peeked out from behind my note card and giggled softly as she subconsciously wiggled her toes. I took the movement as an invitation; I set my note card aside and pressed my sharpie to her skin. **Phalange, Metatarsal, Talus, Calcaneus, Tibia, Fibula. **I marked her body, writing the anatomical structures in their corresponding locations. She pulled her foot away with a shriek of laughter.

"What the hell Britt, you know I'm ticklish as fuck!" she exclaimed, her smile outshining her irritation. "Keep your mitts to yourself, Point Dexter," she teased, going back to her reading and slowly lowering her legs over my lap again. I couldn't help myself. Once her concentration was re-focused on her legal mumbo jumbo, I scrawled out **Patella **and **Femur** on her warm, caramel skin. She slammed her book closed and pointed her finger at me. "You. Are so dead," she threatened, tackling me and tickling my sides. I couldn't breathe. My head was spinning and my body was legitimately starting to shake.

"Santana…stop. STOP!" I screamed out as if she were jabbing me with knives instead of using the soft pads of her fingertips. She reeled back in fear and I couldn't even console her. I felt like my mind was trying to pry itself away from my body and my brain was slowly melting to goo inside of my skull. I started crying for no reason and my chest shook with my sobs.

"I'm never gonna sleep again!" I wailed, hot tears pouring out from the corners of my eyes. "That white pill had some stupid ugly black magic in it and now I can't sleep even though my eyeballs hurt from looking at stuff all the time. And then I'll be awake forever and I'll never have my mermaid dreams again and Horris will feel like I abandoned him and he'll never like me ever again." My rambling words came out in choked hiccups that made my sides ache. She stared at me with mouth agape and eyes as big as saucers.

"W-Who's Horris?" she asked, her voice drenched in apprehension and concern, navigating my breakdown to the best of her ability.

That was when I really snapped. I lost all control over my mind and body as sobs wracked through me like thunder. I couldn't even answer her. My body heaved with frustration and exhaustion and I let my wails swarm around us in angry pulsation. I could feel the shift in the mattress as she got up, but I had neither the energy nor frame of mind to follow her movement. Soft music suddenly filled the room and my heart rate instantaneously began to slow. Warm, gentle hands cupped around my face before sliding down my neck, over my shoulders, along my arms and finally coming to rest in my hands. I was guided into a sitting position, my cries having morphed into incessant hiccups, before being pulled against Santana's warm body. Her strong arms curled around me and I melted into her embrace. She rocked us slowly, matching the calming beat of the sweet melody. Even at my worst, she was there to put me back together.

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**Santana POV**

I had never felt so guilty in my entire life. One minute we were laughing and joking around and the next we were spiraling downward into a black abyss. I had taken caffeine pills every year during finals and they never had the effect on me that they did on Brittany. When her laughter turned to panic I immediately stopped tickling her and backed away slowly. What I saw next was enough to break my heart. A fragile, sleep deprived, little girl, crying on my bed. She was trying to talk to me through muffled cries, but it was no use; I couldn't understand anything she said other than someone named Horris was going to be angry with her.

Seeing her cries worsen put me on auto pilot. I needed to stop standing there so useless and frigid and do something. I put on my Yiruma album of soft and relaxing piano music and turned down the lights. I carefully made my way over to her and sat down on the bed beside her. She was shaking rapidly and her breathing was uneven, unsure of what to do next I just decided to follow my gut.

I reached out behind her and pulled her close to me as I scooted down the bed. Her whole body curled into me as I wrapped my arms around her. I wasn't used to this; I was never this intimate with anyone, but, like everything else Brittany related, this just felt right. Her body fit perfectly against mine, connecting effortlessly like the last piece to a jigsaw puzzle. I rubbed small circles into her back and her crying died down. I leaned forward a little to reach for my blanket and she tensed up in my arms, making my body shiver knowing that she wanted to be close to me. I pulled the blanket over us and she moved further into me, her head, resting near the crook of my neck. I knew I was supposed to be consoling her, but I couldn't help but think about my own emotions. Being there with her, so close and so connected, made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. When I felt her nuzzle closer into me the butterflies took flight in my stomach and I could feel my heart warming up for the first time.

I momentarily ripped myself from my own thoughts to monitor her condition. She was breathing steadily and she had a fistful of my shirt in her left hand; sleep was finally relieving her from the turmoil. I, on the other hand, was awake and realizing that the girl laying in my arms may be the person I would have spent a lifetime searching for. She was everything good and kind in this world; she was loving, compassionate and had been my best friend for the past few years. I couldn't believe it took me this long to see it. I had fallen for Brittany. The thought brought tears to my eyes. I held onto her as I let saltwater silently flow from my eyes. How could I have not realized this sooner? It was too late now, graduation was approaching and we'd both be going off to start our lives. I didn't even know if she was attracted girls at all. I willed my tears to stop and turned my upper body so that I could have a better view of the sleeping beauty in my arms. I ran my fingers through her hair and caressed her cheek with my thumb. "Oh Brittany. I'm so sorry," I whispered before letting one last tear escape and roll down my cheek. I leaned forward to kiss her forehead but her head repositioned in her sleep causing my lips to meet hers. I pulled away quickly, gasping at the unexpected contact. She hummed contently, still asleep, and draped her arm over my stomach, pulling me closer.

The shock from the kiss subsided after a little while and sleep threatened to take hold of me. I had so many unanswered questions and I didn't even know where to begin. All I knew was I couldn't tell Brittany about the kiss; I needed to figure out how to tell her how I felt without bringing that up. Everything would be different after this. Was it really worth it to risk such a rare friendship just to see if she liked me romantically? I was too tired to think any longer and fighting sleep became nearly impossible. I eventually drifted off with one final thought crossing my mind. _What if she feels the same way about me?_

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**REVIEW :) XX**

**NoobNoMo****: Firstly, thank you for your review, it is much appreciated! Hopefully this chapter's length is a plus haha. As far as the inner dialogue being similar, right now Brittany and Santana are in the same sort of mindset, so similar reactions and thoughts can be expected. At the end of this chapter we see a shift, which is hopefully noticeable. Rest assured, as the characters develop, they will indeed have different ways of going about things. As per your other question, the writing is split up with Becca writing as Santana and Haylee writing as Brittany. When you see dialogue in one POV, it is still written from the author of that main character, but we always ask permission or even send the paragraph to one another so that we can see how the other character would respond in the other author's opinion. We really try not to Godmod. (PS, I'm really happy you like 'brain landslide' as it was an attempt at bringing forth a bit of canon imagery) **

**To all other reviewers, thank you for your input and we look forward to hearing from you again! If you have any questions, feel free to leave a review or drop something in our tumblr ask box: ask **

**- Happy Authors update often :)**


	4. The End is the Beginning

Authors Note - The response to this story has been incredible, the follows and reviews make us so happy and help feed the creativity that allows us to write more. This chapter will be divided into 3 flashbacks, we're getting so much closer to present day Britt & San, hope you guys enjoy this ridiculously long chapter! :)

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**Brittany's Graduation - May 10th 2008**

**Brittany's POV**

"I can't find my cap and I think someone, like, ate my gown or something! And I don't even think that's physically possible!" I screamed into the phone, my nerves already starting to fray. It was the morning of graduation and I had finally realized that I'd be walking across the stage in front of hundreds of people. The thought made my head spin and my stomach coil itself into a tight knot. I could deal with dead bodies, no problem, but stick me in a crowded room full of alert individuals and I'd nearly start to hyperventilate. Thank God graduation was outside on the lawn or else the auditorium would become my mausoleum. Santana's soft, reassuring voice came through the ear piece and my racing heart slowed enough so the pounding in my ears wasn't so drastic.

"Look on your coffee table Britt Britt. You were using it as a coaster the last time I saw it. And no one ate your gown. It's hanging up on the back of your bathroom door so the steam could get all the wrinkles out, remember? That's what happens when you ball it up mid quarter and forget about it until the week of graduation." Her flawless memory and ability to control chaotic situations always baffled me. She could be so passionate and fiery one moment and then turn around and hold me like a cracking egg the next. I took a deep breath and followed her instructions, finding my cap and gown in the exact places she told me to look.

"How do you do that? You're not even here and you know where everything is better than I do," I hummed into the phone, a smile replacing my worried frown. "And I can practically hear you rolling your eyes right now, so don't even deny it." My grin cracked my face in two as I brought the graduation gear into my tiny living room.

"Because I know you, B. And I'm not denying anything, Miss 'Tude." Her words were playful and light. She knew that I was freaking out and she tried to distract me from any possible breakdown. "I'd say take a Valium, but ever since the caffeine fiasco I try not to give you medical advice. You're the doctor, anyway. _Doctor Pierce_." She emphasized the last two words and my face broke out into cherry redness. My mom was watching me from behind my kitchen counter and her eyebrow quirked up subtly. The name "Santana" had become part of my permanent vocabulary and my mom was giddy with excitement to meet the girl who I spoke so highly of. I turned away from her slightly so I could keep at least part of the conversation semi-private. I love my mom, but sometimes she's just so nosy.

"Yeah, well, you'd be able to talk yourself out of any trouble you cause me," I flirted back, undoing the zipper on my gown. The sound carried through to the other end and her retort was so characteristically 'Santana' that I couldn't help the huff of laughter that escaped me.

"Undressing for me, are you? You know I kinda prefer sexting, but I'll take what I can get." I could practically see the sneaky smirk playing on her lips. My blush deepened and I shook my head slightly in exasperation.

"Ha. Ha. And you wish." I kept my cool but my heart had begun to flutter, not from nerves about graduation but from the way Santana could twist my emotions like putty. I took a deep breath and smiled into my words. "You're coming right? I can't do this without you." I never had a problem admitting my dependence, and Santana had been my pillar throughout med school. If she couldn't come, I wouldn't even want to be there.

"I'll be there. Front and center. Look for the girl with the 'Brittany Susan Pierce for President' sign," she quipped, her lighthearted humor like a balm to my nerves.

"I can't even walk across a stage without wanting to puke; there's no way I could address the entire nation," I deadpanned, slipping my gown over my head and shimmying it down the length of my body. "I'm almost ready. Meet me at our place; I wanna see you before I have to walk to my death," I commanded lightly. She let out a soft chuckle and agreed to our rendezvous point before I hung up the phone and grabbed my keys. I turned to my mom who had been listening to our conversation and watching my body language. She rolled her tongue to the side of her cheek with a small smile tugging at her lips.

"This Santana girl must be pretty darn special," she prodded, keeping her focus on my facial reactions. Our stupid fair-skinned heritage betrayed me and I was once again the color of a tomato.

"She is. But you'll see that for yourself in about twenty minutes." I stuck my tongue out at my mom playfully before checking to make sure I had the entry tickets and the parking pass. "Showtime," I breathed out shakily before walking over and linking my arm with my mom's. She, like Santana, grounded me and kept my head from spinning like a top.

After finding a parking spot in the boonies, my parents, older brother Seth and I trekked across the campus to the sprawling lawn set up with a sea of folding chairs. Already there were several people milling about and the sight made my insides squirm. I passed out three of the four tickets to my family members and then told them to keep their eyes peeled for me among the throng of black robes. I kissed both my mom and dad on the cheek, gave my brother a fist bump, and headed off to the library.

When I climbed the steps to the looming brick building, she was already there, waiting for me. This was our place. Our study room, which had at times been a bedroom, a snack room, a play room and a dance studio, was literally filled with memories that we shared for the past three years. My stride increased and I nearly barreled into her, tossing my arms around her just so I could feel tethered to the earth in some way. She rubbed my back slowly, and even just her familiar perfume-shampoo combination set me at ease. I pulled back hesitantly, not wanting to float away, and held out my remaining ticket.

"You'll need this," I whispered, looking at her with my heart throbbing within my chest. She smiled at me, took the ticket, and reached up to caress my face gently.

"It'll go by so fast that you won't even realize you've crossed the stage, Britt." She stroked her thumb over my freckled cheek lightly and gave me her perfectly dimpled smile that I took a mental image of and tucked away in the back pocket of my brain for safe-keeping. I nodded softly and let her words ring through me as truth. I looked into her eyes and dropped my gaze to her lips. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to show her that I loved her in so many ways. I was leaning in when a familiar voice snatched me out of my daze.

"Britt! I thought that was you! Come on, we're gonna be late!" Blaine Anderson had been my lab partner for every lab class we shared. He was a bit eccentric at times and he had a slight addiction to bow ties, but he was smart as a whip and he was one of the few people that made me feel comfortable in social settings. I swiveled my head away from Santana and brought my attention to the small man standing at the top of the stairs. I held up my hand and gestured for him to give me just one more moment. I turned back to Santana and gave her a small apologetic smile for the interruption. She beamed a smile back at me and lifted her hands to fix my cap.

"Knock 'em dead, B," she hushed, her fingers still fiddling with the silky strings of my tassel. "If you get scared, just look for me. I'll be there." She dropped her hand away and shrugged softly. I took her pinky in mine and guided her over to the stairs where Blaine was waiting patiently. The three of us made our way down to the ceremony setup, chatting about future plans and current job interviews. While Blaine headed up to the stage, I lead Santana over to my family, each member waving goofily at me, my mom nearly bouncing in place.

"Guys, this is Santana. Santana, this is my mom, Maggie, dad, Spencer, and the broskie, Seth." I introduced each of them in turn and while my dad and brother merely shook her hand, my mom pulled her into a bone crushing hug. I could almost hear the air rush out of her lungs and I cringed slightly in embarrassment. I tapped my mom's arm and begged her to release the poor girl before she realized how crazy the Pierce family was and went sprinting in the opposite direction. To my relief Santana just smiled and remained her polite, charming self. I knew my family would love her right off the bat, so I didn't feel too bad when I had to head up to the stage. Before I left I caught my brother eyeing Santana in a way that made my blood boil. I smacked him on the shoulder and pointed my finger at him without saying a word. He cocked an eyebrow at me and held up his hands, but I knew he'd sweet talk her while I was away. I gave everyone one last hug and hurried up to the stage before my anxiety mounted any further.

Blaine and I sat next to one another and he held my hand during the entire ceremony. If it couldn't be my mom or Santana, Blaine was the next best choice. When he broke our contact to walk across the stage, my stomach felt like it was in a blender. I had nothing to ground me. My legs started to shake and my palms were beading with sweat. I chanced a look into the crowd and my eyes bulged. So. Many. People. Just when I thought I would tumble to the ground, a familiar shape caught my eye. A smile broke across my face as I watched Santana slowly creep up the center aisle, her eyes locked on mine. My heart rate evened out and I felt like I could actually feel the floor beneath my feet. She gave me a reassuring nod and two thumbs up as they called my name. I took a deep breath, stepped forward, and listened as my own personal cheering squad erupted in applause and hollering. I could even distinguish Santana's voice as it rang out with my name, causing the knot of fear and anxiety within me to dissipate into bubbles of pure adoration. I shook the dean's hand, took my diploma, and turned toward the mass of people sitting before me. I trained my eyes on the girl who brought me back to reality, flipped my tassel to its new side, and shot her an appreciative wink. I had done it. And she was there to help me through; the entire way.

* * *

**Santana's POV**

Watching Brittany glide across that stage was arguably one of the best moments of my life. I was so proud of everything she had accomplished, she'd worked so hard over the years to make it to this day and she deserved all the praise and congratulations the world could offer. I wanted to do something special for her, but I wasn't gifted in the grand gestures department so I settled for buying her a card and stuffed bear with a graduation cap on its head. It wasn't my best idea but it was better than nothing.

"Santana, we're really happy that you and our Britt-Bee are so close," Brittany's dad said, leaning across to look at me. "You've really brought her out of her shell. She's not the most social of butterflies, but she's definitely a radiant one when she talks about you."

I smiled shyly at the compliment Spencer gave me. Brittany's family was wonderful and I felt comfortable with them instantly, which didn't surprise me since they were related to Brittany. "Thanks Mr. Pierce. She's pretty special, your daughter. She brings out the best in me too," I said, surprised at my outburst of raw honesty.

"Oh honey, please call him Spencer. If you call him Mr. Pierce I'll have to sit and listen to him rant for an hour about how he's nothing like his father," Mrs. Pierce joked, swatting her husband's hands away from her sides as he attempted to tickle her. "And please, call me Maggie," she added, smiling warmly at me and reaching out to squeeze my hand lovingly.

"Don't you get me started on my father, Maggie. That man was a despicable son of a-" He started.

"Dad, seriously! Santana doesn't want to hear about Grandpa Joe. I'm pretty sure none of us want to hear about him." Seth winked at me before giving a frat boy 'sup' nod silently with his head. "So Santana, where's your boyfriend at?" Seth challenged. Mrs. Pierce smacked his head and muttered something to him that I couldn't quite hear.

"No boyfriend Seth, but I'm not exactly on the market either, hot stuff." I decided to play along, not realizing the subtle hint I had just left out in the open. Shit.

Mr. and Mrs. Pierce smiled at each other knowingly and then back at me, making me shift nervously in my seat. Were they just being nice or did they pick up the hidden meaning in what I had just said? They weren't acting any different and didn't seem uncomfortable, which kept me reeling with excitement. Maybe if I had met them sooner I would have found the courage to tell Brittany how I felt, instead of waiting too long and letting the opportunity pass me by. I stewed on this thought for a while, waiting for the ceremony to finish so I could see Brittany's gorgeous face appear in front of me.

Sitting there with her family, I couldn't help but reflect on the day, specifically back in the study room. I wanted to kiss her so badly, I wanted to hold her close and tell her how proud I was and that she was the most wonderful, kind hearted person on the planet. For a split second, I thought that she wanted to kiss me too. Something about the way her eyes softened when she looked at me and the way she ran her tongue across her perfectly pink bottom lip. I almost did it, I almost kissed her right there, but luckily Blaine interrupted my lover's haze and brought me back down from the clouds. _Friends Santana, friends do not kiss._ I had to constantly remind myself of that.

There were so many times over the past 6 months where I almost told her how I felt. There was one night in particular that stood out among the many. It was 3:30am and we had been studying for almost 10 hours straight. She was a ball of nerves because she had to sit for the boards in a few days and I needed to pass my bar exam. Our study room was a catastrophe. We had moved the table to the corner of the room and used the floor to spread out all of our study materials. There were empty coffee containers, snack wrappers and trash all over the place. I never had a problem with mess, I liked my life a little chaotic; to me it was organized chaos. I knew where everything was so I didn't see the problem. Brittany, on the other hand, would go bat shit crazy at the sight of a mess.

"Do you not understand that there is a trash can for a reason Santana? Like it's even in the name. Trash- C-A-N. The place where trash goes," She said, raising her voice with irritation.

"Do you not understand that I have higher priorities than studying the multiple uses of waste disposal units, Brittany?" I replied, challenging her irritation with my own.

"My God, I'll just do it for you. Give me the coffee cups." She reached over me collecting the four cups that surrounded my text book and began to collect the other trash from the floor.

I looked up at her, the frustration on her face was clear as day, and for some reason, I don't know whether it was the lack of sleep or the caffeine or the look on her face, but I couldn't stop laughing. The expression on her face when she saw me laughing was beyond priceless, which egged me on. She looked so offended, but so adorable. Her hair was up on the top of her head in a messy bun, sweatpants rolled up to her knees and tank top clinging tightly to her flawless figure. Her face was scrunched up with rage.

"This isn't funny Santana, this is serious! I can't concentrate with all of this clutter around me. Stop laughing! This isn't funny!" She yelled, before hurling a coffee cup straight towards my face. I looked down at the styrofoam cup in my lap then back up to her. The faintest twitch of her lips indicated that she was trying to suppress a smile, and from that point on, it was war. I picked up my bag of unopened chips and threw them towards her. As she ducked, they hit the window, spilling all over the floor.

With a playful smirk now plastered across her face she lunged forward and pinned me to the ground. My struggle was pointless under her firm grasp. Her thighs held my body still and her hands pinned my own above my head. Brittany's face was dangerously close to my mine but our laughing broke the tension that could have formed.

"Mercy!" I cried dramatically as she started to tickle my sides. I wrapped my arms around her waist and we tied our bodies together, rolling around and laughing on the floor. I was lost in the scent of her perfume and the soft texture of her skin. Having her so close to me did things to my emotions; it chipped away at my filter and encouraged the opening of the flood gates to my inner most thoughts.

"I love you," I said without thinking. I masked the embarrassing confession with more laughter, pushing her off of me playfully. Making absolutely positive to keep the smile on my face, I couldn't let her see I was embarrassed.

"I love you too, litter bug. You're lucky I do, otherwise I would totally kick you out of my study room," she said, not even allowing the brief moment of openness to become awkward. Brittany knew me and she knew exactly what to say at any given moment. I had to excuse myself to use the restroom to stop the emotional tidal wave from crashing down upon her. She was everything that made my life brighter; I couldn't even measure how much I loved her but it didn't matter. I needed to keep myself in check; having her in my life was more important than anything and risking that wasn't an option. That night, in our fit of giggles and proclamations of love, I almost revealed it all. My feelings, my past, my father, everything. That night, everything would have been different.

I tuned back into the real world when I saw Brittany trembling on stage. My heart climbed into my throat and I made a split second decision to slink my way closer so she could see me better. When she caught sight of me, I could see her visibly relax. I raised my thumbs up signaling 'good job' and she turned toward the calling of her name.

When everyone had made their way across the stage, the dean spoke a 'congratulations' into the microphone and a flurry of graduation caps rose up into the air. I spotted Brittany hugging Blaine tightly before scurrying through the crowd of people. I pushed back from the stage and stood in the middle of the aisle, making sure she saw me. We made eye contact and I couldn't control the enormous smile on my face. She raced down the steps and I braced myself for her arrival; when our bodies collided I felt my heart sigh with contentment. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her cheek before pulling away slightly.

"Britts, I am so proud of you," I said holding her by the shoulders. "You did it babe, you graduated!"

She smiled up at me and looked between my eyes and my lips a few times. I saw something then, in Brittany's eyes, that was unmistakable; I knew that look. I gave her that look. She wanted to kiss me. _No, Santana, there's no way. You're imagining things, shake it off_, I said to myself, trying to smack the thought out of my head. She couldn't want me that way.

I pulled her in for one more hug and whispered 'I love you' before stepping aside to let her family shower her with love and praise. Her dad pulled me in for the group hug and that small gesture meant more to me than anyone could ever know. I'd only known her family for a few hours and already they made me feel more welcome and at home than anyone has ever made me feel. It was one of the best feelings in the world. It was pure joy.

* * *

**Brittany's POV**

I had lost my cap in everyone's elation, so I recruited Blaine to help me find it. The search took a few moments as numerous hats littered the floor, but I wanted my tassel; it was a symbol of all the hard work I had done. It was also a keepsake from the place where I met one of my best friends in the entire world. There was no way I was giving that up. When I had my cap, and more importantly my tassel, in hand, I raced down the stage steps and flew right into tan, toned arms. Santana pulled me in tightly and I felt her soft lips caress my cheek. I hummed in approval and my joy overflowed into giggles. She pulled back away from me and looked right into my eyes.

"Britts, I am so proud of you!" she exclaimed, grasping my shoulders and shaking me softly. "You did it babe, you graduated!" Her words were released at a higher pitch with excitement and it made my body tingle from the roots of my hair to the tips of my toes. I looked at her, my smile trying to conquer my face. She always had the prettiest eyes I'd ever seen, but her lips were so beautifully enticing that my gaze shifted between the two features. _Kiss her_, I told myself, _kiss her now and she'll know_. I licked my lips and my heart fluttered momentarily as I subtly leaned in to instigate the connection. When a strong hand came crashing down on my shoulder I nearly yelped out a frustrated "No!" Seriously, it was the second time within two hours that I had been stopped. Maybe I wasn't supposed to kiss her after all. I whipped my head around and came face to face with my brother. I could have killed him. Literally. I knew plenty of ways to do so and I could make them all look like an accident. I stared at him in disbelief for a moment before my mom and dad brought all of us in for a group hug, passing around kisses and cheers that made me brim with happiness.

After our circle of hugs and love, my parents stepped aside so I could talk privately with Santana. My brother, on the other hand, stuck around to chime into our conversation. I wanted to punch him in the ribs and tell him to can it, but I stood there, with an annoyed smile on my face, as the girl I was totally smitten with and the brother I wanted to kill flirted shamelessly. I could feel the jealousy stir in the pit of my stomach and I couldn't quash it in the slightest. When he finally caught the hint that I wanted time alone with Santana, he backed away slowly and joined my parents who were conversing with my mentor. I turned my full attention to Santana and breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you for being here, Tana," I praised, taking her hand in mine and trailing my fingertips over her skin lightly. "I love you, you know that?" I gave her my lopsided grin and leaned in to peck her cheek. I had been stopped too many times today to try and work in something more, so I settled for the sweet cheek kiss and hoped it would tide me over. "I know your ceremony starts at 4 pm tomorrow, and I promise I'll be there. I have a meeting with my mentor at 2:30 pm which should be over way before you gotta be at the quad." I squeezed her hand and tilted my head to the side. "Your turn tomorrow, pretty girl." My compliment flowed out effortlessly and I watched the pale pink hue rise to her caramel cheeks. I wanted to kiss over the rosiness from her lips to her hairline, but I swallowed back my temptation and turned to look at my family who was motioning us over. "We're going out to dinner to celebrate. I want you to come. You're not allowed to say no." I gripped her hand tightly and didn't wait for a response before pulling her close to my side and dragging her off to spend the evening with the quirky, kooky Pierce Brigade.

* * *

**Santana's Graduation - May 11th 2008**

**Santana's POV**

"This is fucking ridiculous," I muttered under my breath. My apartment looked like a tornado had just passed through; my bedroom was critically hit by the disaster: dresser drawers were wide open and almost every article of clothing I owned was on the floor. I waded through the sea of colors to my laundry room, searching the last place I could think of to find my black dress. It was brand new, I hadn't even worn it yet and somehow I managed to misplace it. I didn't even want to buy the stupid thing, but when Brittany made me try it on, the look she gave me was worth more than the two hundred dollars I was spending on it.

I dug through the pile of clothes in the laundry basket, mentally scolding myself for being so unorganized. "Son of a bitch, where did I put the damn thing?" I shouted, paying no attention that someone had just let them self into my apartment.

"You do realize that when you grow old and people make fun of you for being the crazy old hoarding lady with lots of cats, I'm not going to visit you anymore, right?" A familiar voice called out from behind me. Immediately, I turned around at the interruption and there, standing before me, was my old friend Kurt.

"Honestly Satan, you better hope you get a high paying job after you graduate. At least that way you'll make enough money to hire someone to clean for you." He challenged.

Kurt had been my friend for years. We grew up in the same town and even though he was a few years older than me, we managed to form a solid bond. He was just as sarcastic as I was and it kept me on my toes; he was also gay, with a capital G, which only made me love him more.

I turned around with my hands on my hips, smirking up at him. My hair was in rollers, my makeup half done, and I rocked a pair of booty shorts and a tank top. Basically I looked like a hot mess and if it were anyone else I would have retreated to my bedroom at the first sign of intrusion.

"Well, if it isn't the most flamboyant detective New York has to offer! Tell me Kurt, I've been dying to know, did your suggestion for rainbow streamers in the interrogation room go off without a hitch? I'm sure the guys in SVU were all over that," I quipped, winking at him as he motioned me to come greet him properly.

I jumped over the pile of clothes I had just emptied onto the floor and pulled him into a hug. It had been almost a year since the last time I'd seen him in person. After he got hired to work in the Special Victims Unit in New York, his free time was greatly reduced; it was almost like he vanished from my life completely. I didn't make much of an effort to keep in touch which, in hindsight, I regret, but Kurt is the kind of friend that you can go years without talking to and then pick up right where you left off.

"I missed you, Kurt," I admitted, still holding on to him. He was a lot taller than I remembered and he had filled out quite nicely; definitely a lot different from the skinny kid I knew in undergrad.

"Yeah yeah, I missed you too Satan- um, Santana," he joked, nudging me playfully. "What exactly are you tearing your place apart for? Let me guess, you didn't follow my advice and color coordinate your closet. Really, I mean you have a dress hanging from your bulletin board for Christ sakes," he laughed, pointing to the board in my kitchen; the dress still had the price tag attached and was pinned up with a thumb tack, next to all of my reminders that I never paid attention to.

"My dress! Damn it, Lady Hummel, I knew I missed you for a reason. As for color coordinating my closet, do you really think I have time to deal with that shit? I'm a board certified Lawyer now, I have more important things to do with my time," I challenged, giving him my signature Santana shrug.

"Like spending two hundred dollars on a dress just to please the girl you're in love with?" He asked bluntly, crossing his arms. I stood there, frozen, like someone had just sucked the life out of me and I had hardened over like a statue.

"How did you-" I start.

"Oh girl, please, who are you trying to fool. I keep up with Facebook. I see this Brittany girl all over your page and I have never known you to spend so much money on clothes before, especially a dress! Santana 'bad ass' Lopez does not do dresses, last time I heard." He walked by me and retrieved the dress, eyeing it up and down before handing it over, winking with approval. He clearly enjoyed catching me off guard; I didn't blame him, I would have done the same thing.

"She's just a friend," I said, finally able to resuscitate myself out of shock. I removed my tank top before slipping the dress over my head, shimmying my shorts off soon after. I walked back to my bathroom and started pulling the rollers out of my hair, desperately trying to avoid the subject. "I'm going to be late if I don't finish getting ready," I called out, thinking he was still in the living room.

"Not a chance, Santana. I didn't come all this way to get a cop-out answer like that. You like this girl. She's hot, I don't blame you," he said, leaning up against the doorframe.

I mulled over my thoughts for a second, still fixing my hair and adjusting my dress. _I guess it wouldn't be so bad to tell Kurt, he may actually be able to help_, I thought. "Fine. I like her, but I don't even know if she likes me back or if she's even into girls. So I haven't done anything about it. AND! Before you go off on me, just realize that I probably won't even see her very much after today. She graduated yesterday and is heading off to find a job, probably half way across the country for all I know." I sighed as I applied a coating of eyeliner. Brittany wasn't my girlfriend or anything, but as silly as it sounded, I still wanted to impress her. Her approval made me feel powerful and sexy and it was a feeling I wouldn't trade for the world.

"San, seriously, you haven't told her? I know you're not that great with people but it's obvious she's crazy about you. I haven't even met the girl and I can see that. She's commented on every single one of your photos on Facebook and she basically writes on your wall daily. I'm sure you see each other a lot too. Don't you pay attention to that stuff?" He asked, trying his best to put his serious face on. That was another thing I loved about Kurt, he always knew how to handle a situation; he knew the right time to be serious and drop the sarcasm.

I never really thought about our interactions online; they were there in plain view for everyone to see. She had to know that all the compliments and loving comments were fair game for curious eyes, right? Kurt didn't even know Brittany and he thought she liked me, maybe he was right after all. Maybe I had spent the last five months in silence for no reason. My thoughts ran wild through my head like gazelles exploring an open field. Maybe she remembered the kiss. Maybe she was feeling just as shy as me. My thoughts consumed me; for a moment I forgot Kurt had asked me a question.

"Earth to Lopez" He yelled, waving his arms in front of my face. I snapped back into reality and apologized for my daydreaming, though in my defense he should have been used to it after all these years. I glanced over at the clock and my eyes almost fell out of my head when I saw the time.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I'm late, we have to go like now," I said, pushing by him and running to grab my heels from the bedroom. He grabbed my cap and gown and held the door open for me as I attempted to run down the stairs in my 3 inch heels. "Come on princess, I'll drive us," He said, booming with laughter at the sight of me struggling in shoes that clearly were invented by men as a joke to women all over the world.

We made it to the ceremony just in time. I hugged Kurt one last time before showing him where to sit and telling him to say goodbye before he left. I knew he couldn't stay very long, but I wanted him to meet Brittany. I wanted two of the most important people in my life to know each other. Thinking about not seeing Brittany everyday made my heart physically hurt, I decided that I didn't want to think about that, not now, not today. Tomorrow I'd deal with the future, but right now I needed to make Kurt and Brittany- no, make my _family_ proud.

My graduating class was significantly smaller than Brittany's. The ceremony was outside in the quad, the stage was set up between two grand pillars in front of the library. It looked like a scene right out of a movie; I couldn't believe I'd finally made it. I was finally going to live my dream, the one I'd work so hard for over the past 7 years. The dean was making his announcements before we were set to walk across the stage and I looked behind me, searching for a glimpse of golden hair, but the sea of black and red gowns obstructed my view.

Row by row, the students made their way to the stage and collected their diplomas. My heart was racing as the row in front of me stood up and made their way into the bright lights of their future. As our turn came around I stood up and looked over to where Kurt was sitting, he was smiling wider than I had ever seen before. It made me proud to know that he cared so much about me, he was truly the brother I'd never had. A twinge of sadness struck me like a dart when I scanned the rest of the crowd and saw no other familiar faces. She wasn't there, Brittany wasn't in the audience. I convinced myself that I had simply missed her as I turned my attention to the stage. I walked up, lifting my gown and paying close attention not to trip and embarrass myself in front of the few hundred people that were watching me.

I shook the dean's hand proudly as he handed me the piece of paper that represented seven years of my hardest work. I heard Kurt yelling through the crowd's applause and I'm sure at that point my face was as red as a tomato. "NEW YORK IS CALLING YOU LOPEZ!" he screamed. I glanced over at him and he was standing up and cheering; he didn't care that he was being a nuisance to the people around him and that made it even more hilarious. I scanned through the crowd for a second time as I walked off of the stage and was hit with the same stabbing pain again. She really wasn't there. The crowd was small enough that I would have been able to pick her out quite easily, but the fact still remained. She didn't come.

The rest of the students crossed the stage and the dean wrapped up the ceremony, asking us to rise to our feet. "Congratulations Class of 2008!" He announced and with that, caps flew up into the air, swirling together like a flock of birds. My cap was the only one that remained still on my head. I was stuck in the spiraling vortex of my own mind. Where was she? Why didn't she come? The same questions attacked my brain, tiny cancer cells eating away at me, as my heart deteriorated on what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life.

People were starting to take pictures and meet up with their family members and I headed over to thank Kurt for coming, trying my best to hide the sadness that struck my heart. I walked up to him, carrying a small smile, and he pulled me into his arms and squeezed me so tight I thought my insides were going to pop out.

"I'm proud of you San! Now, I can finally give you your surprise. It's seriously been killing me not saying anything to you this whole time" He bounced up and down, clapping his hands like a 15 year old girl at a boy band concert.

My brows furrowed together in confusion. _Surprise? What surprise?_ I wondered, secretly hoping it had something to do with Brittany, even though I knew that was illogical.

"The Special Victims Unit where I work is looking for an Assistant District Attorney and I may have given them your information..." He said, pausing to test my reaction.

"The hiring process is pretty elaborate, but the DA is one of my good friends. Her name is Rachel and she's interested in you." He finished, now shaking me violently with excitement.

"You're fucking kidding me! There is no way!- Oh my God Kurt!" I lunged at him, hugging him for the third time; I was beside myself with excitement. I had only just graduated and already I might have a real job lined up. For a moment I completely forgot about the pain that came from the absence of the other half of my heart. That was, until he reminded me.

"I know, right? It's gonna be awesome. I'm going to get to work with you again, if all goes well!" He practically screamed at me, his face was glowing. Seeing him so happy made the pain a little easier to deal with.

"Where's Brittany? Let's tell your boo thang the great news. Plus, I need to meet this girl!" He said, just as enthusiastically as everything else he'd said in the past 5 minutes. My smile faltered and I shook my head solemnly. As disappointed as I was that she wasn't there, I felt like in some way she disappointed him also; that made things ten times worse. I balled my fists as sadness weaved itself within the anger building up inside of me.

"She didn't come," I said bluntly, shrugging my shoulders and trying my hardest not to show how deeply hurt I was. "It's fine. I didn't know for sure if she was coming anyway," I lied. Tears were threatening to form in the corners of my eyes, but I held my ground.

_Not here Santana. Not today. Not with him._

* * *

**Brittany's POV**

Of all the days that Dr. Irene Fletcher could run late, it had to be today. Santana's graduation ceremony started at 4 pm and she expected me to be there, cheering her on. I stood in the hallway corridor tapping my foot against the gleaming marble floor, my eyes staring daggers at the clock above the double door entrance. It was already 3:15 pm and my mentor was running 45 minutes late. I tried calling her multiple times, but I didn't want to burn bridges that hadn't even been fully built. I needed Dr. Fletcher's help in networking to find a job as a medical examiner, so pushing her buttons was definitely not a smart move. I watched helplessly as the minute hand swung its way from the three to the nine. "You've got to be fucking kidding me," I cursed under my breath, combing my fingers through my silky hair. I had 15 minutes before the ceremony started and I had no idea how long Dr. Fletcher intended to keep me. I bit my lip nervously and checked my phone to see if I had any missed calls, texts, or emails. There was nothing. Nothing, except the picture of Santana and I eating ice cream in front of Powell's candy shop that I had saved as my background. I looked down at the picture and smiled, remembering the sweet moment which stemmed both from my snack and my company. I took a deep breath and let it out in a huff. I was not letting her down. Santana was there for me when I needed her most, and I sure as hell wasn't going to let her think I wasn't there for her. I picked my purse up off the floor, slung it over my shoulder, and stormed to the exit. When the double doors opened towards me unexpectedly, I scurried back in fear of being hit. I was about to use a Sananta-esque remark until I realized who had come blustering through.

"Dr. Fletcher," I breathed out, mentally kicking myself for actually waiting around for so long.

"Brittany! I'm so sorry. I got a flat tire and my phone died and it was just a hectic morning. Please, come in," she explained, hustling forward into her office; I felt compelled to follow her. She sat down at her desk hurriedly and pulled out a file with my name on it. I sat down opposite her and found the familiar heart-shaped clock that rested on her bookcase. 3:57 pm. I squirmed in my seat and mentally begged her to be clear and concise. I needed to leave. Now. I wrung my hands in my lap as she informed me of open positions and those of which showed interest in my resume that she helped me build. I smiled and nodded, urging her to continue silently. I kept glancing back at the clock and I spaced out as she carried on about salary ceilings and broader benefits. She finally stopped and looked at me, pinning me with her stare.

"Do you have someplace to be, Ms. Pierce?" she asked, giving me a concerned look.

"I- I'm missing my best friend's graduation and I'm really, really sorry, but I have to go. I have to be there." I jumped up from my seat, the idea of burning bridges now totally flung from my mind. I needed to be there for Santana. "I'll call you and re-schedule or I can email you. I'm so sorry for taking up this time." I tossed my words over my shoulder as I ran out of her office, leaving her sitting with raised eyebrows and look of shock plastered on her face.

I got in my car and raced out of the parking lot. Of course Irene's office was way off campus and I had to fight the traffic all the way back to BU. "Come on, come on!" I yelled at the cars around me. We were in gridlock and the frustration inside of me was close to eruption. I got off the freeway, giving up on trying to speed my way there, and hopped onto the backstreets. I wasn't great at directions so I made a few wrong turns, but I finally pulled into the parking lot closest to the quad. Every single parking spot was taken and I felt like crying. I looked at my clock, 4:36 pm. I was missing one of the most important moments of Santana's life because I couldn't find a fucking parking spot. "Screw it," I huffed under my breath, pulling aside and double parking. Getting there in time would be worth a ticket or a tow fee. I threw my car into park, jumped out slamming the door behind me, and raced up the lawn to the ceremony. I lost one of my flats along the way and had to double back and grab it, which just made me even more frustrated. Stupid shoes were pointless! I reached the far end of the quad completely out of breath and watched as a hundred black and red squares were tossed into the air. _One of those_, I thought to myself, _is Santana's_. I took a quick moment to catch my breath before navigating the sea of people around me. Even my social anxiety was on the back burner as I tried desperately to find the girl who meant the world to me.

I finally spotted Santana chatting with a slender man with great hair. He was dressed in a killer suit and he looked impeccably put together. I looked down at my own disheveled self and smoothed the wrinkles out of my shirt the best I could. As I drew closer I realized that Santana's smile was one she wore when trying to hide her true feelings. She was upset. My throat squeezed shut for a moment before I forged ahead and sidled up to the duo.

"Congratulations!" I yelled, throwing my arms around her so she couldn't refuse the connection. She didn't return the hug and I felt a twinge deep inside my chest. I pulled back to look at her and I could see the hurt and anger bubbling beneath her stoic eyes. I turned quickly to her companion and held out my hand.

"I'm Brittany," I chirped, trying to fend off the storm that was brewing in the girl next to me. _The tidal storm is forming_ I thought to myself as I waited for the delicate man to take my hand in greeting. He brought my hand to his lips and gave my knuckles a soft kiss. I blushed slowly and let out a nervous giggle. He introduced himself as Detective Kurt Hummel, best friend of 'Satan's' since the beginning of time. My eyebrows shot up in fear and he looked at me like I might stab him in the chest with a crucifix. He explained that 'Satan' was a nickname for Santana and I immediately breathed out a sigh of relief. I bit my lip nervously and looked between the two, gaining my ground slowly.

"Do you think…Can we have a moment alone, please? It won't take long." I looked at Kurt and gave him a small appreciative smile for his acquiescence. As he strode off down the quad, I turned to look at Santana. "I'm so, so sorry I was late. I'm here though. And I saw you throw your hat up, so I didn't miss everything." I tried my best to keep my voice from breaking.

"I didn't throw my cap, Brittany. I didn't feel much like celebrating because one of the most important people in my life wasn't there to see it. Where the hell were you?" Her words sunk into me like dull knives and I shifted from one foot to the other nervously.

"My mentor totally screwed me over. I should have just left. I'm so sorry, Tana. I know how much this meant to you, but I swear I'll make it up to you. I don't know how, but I will." I silently begged her to look at me and when her fiery eyes met mine, my breath hitched in my throat.

"Make it up how, Britt? This was important! How could you.." I cut off her words by leaning in and pressing my mouth to hers. I was overcome with regret and guilt and hope and I surged forward, teasing her mouth to open. I had wanted to kiss her the day before, and so many other times, but I had been interrupted. And now, with her mad at me, I didn't want to risk never getting the chance. I clasped the front of her robe tightly into my fist and brought our bodies together as I slipped my tongue into her mouth. She tasted like a mix of tart cherry and spearmint and it made my own mouth tingle. I broke the kiss slowly, tugging her bottom lip through my teeth as I let out a soft moan against her lips. I batted my eyes open to find her lids still closed and her swollen lips lightly puckered.

"I'm sorry for being late, Tana. But I'm not sorry for that," I husked, watching her eyes flutter open. "That's a real kiss. Our first one doesn't really count." Her eyes widened as she realized that the night her lips brushed mine, I had felt the same bright spark. "I'd regret it if I never got to kiss you," I confessed, letting a soft sigh roll through me as I caressed her cheek, willing her to accept my apology

* * *

**Santana's POV**

The English language, and any other language for that matter, lacked the requisite words to describe how I felt in that moment. The girl I'd been silently pining over had just willingly kissed me. Her lips were as soft as I remembered them, the spark that I felt when our lips met for the first time didn't even compare to the firework display that erupted during this kiss. I literally felt like I was floating on a cloud. You know those stupid cartoons where an attractive girl kisses a guy and he floats up into the air and his heart beats out of his chest? Well, that's exactly what was going on with me when Brittany connected our lips.

I felt Brittany's hand caress my cheek and I leaned into her touch. This felt surreal and if this was a dream I was going to make the most of it.

"Britt, you knew all along. Why didn't you say something?" I asked softly. My body ached to be closer to her, but my mind demanded answers instead.

"I could ask you the same thing, San," she said, shrugging her shoulders, her eyes scanned my face. I could tell she was looking at me differently, as if she'd broken some sort of barrier and now was unsure how to proceed. I wanted to tell her everything, about every time I'd almost kissed her, about how I was afraid that she couldn't possibly feel the same. I wanted to tell her everything, but it had to wait.

"Listen Britt, Kurt is only here for another 20 minutes or so and I really want to talk to you about this, but I need to see him too," I said, praying that she believed me and didn't think I was trying to put off the conversation I'd wanted to have for the past 6 months.

"I wouldn't let you leave without finishing this anyway," she said, stroking my cheek softly. "Go on, just text me or something when you-"

I cut her off, I wanted to smack myself for the way I formed my sentences. _Think before you speak Santana_. "No, Britt, I didn't mean it like that. I meant, I want you to come with me so I can say goodbye." I held out my hand and when she laced our fingers together I felt invincible. With her, I could do anything.

We wandered through the crowd searching for Kurt and finally found him sitting on a bench talking with Blaine. Brittany and I looked at each other; we were definitely thinking the same thing: match makers. We walked up to the duo, our hands still tied together and I decided to interrupt their moment of bonding.

"Sorry to intrude on your date, Kurt, but I just thought you'd want to say goodbye to my fine ass before you jetted off to New York." I smiled and tilted my head challenging Kurt to give a comeback, but no such luck.

He exchanged numbers with Blaine and said goodbye as Brittany and I sat down next to him. I took note of the fact that our worlds were already so effortlessly colliding and smiled inwardly to myself. I gave Brittany a proper introduction and Kurt interrogated her as I expected he would. He found out that she grew up in Maine, she had wanted to be a dancer, her life goal was now to be a Chief Medical Examiner and her favorite food was shrimp. They sat there for a while getting to know each other and I chimed in with a witty or sarcastic comment every now and then. I didn't really have to say much, this was exactly how I had wanted it to be. They loved each other.

The time came when Kurt had to leave and I reluctantly said my goodbye, as did Brittany. He promised to follow up with me about the SVU situation which I had almost forgotten about; there was another thing I had to look forward to. When Kurt was finally out of sight, Brittany and I stared at each other for a moment, admiring one another. The silence was comfortable, but things needed to be said. For once I was the first one to speak up.

"Britt, what does all of this mean? Today, you and me, us? If there even is an us?" I didn't want to waste time beating around the bush, we needed to figure out what was going on, we were leaving tomorrow and the thought of leaving 'us' unresolved left knots in my stomach.

"Tana, I'm really glad I kissed you and that you kissed me back. I've wanted to do that for a while." She pulled both of my hands into her lap, caressing my fingers individually, trying to give equal attention to each digit.

"Britt you're going to be 400 miles away tomorrow and after that you could be halfway across the country from me, I don't know how to feel. It's not fair, how do we make this work?" I said, my heart deflating with the crippling reality of our situation.

"Santana, I don't know that we can make it work but I do know that you and I are different from any other people in the entire world and because of that, I think anything is possible. We'll figure it out," she finished, still caressing my hands.

We sat together on the bench for hours, talking about our feelings and when they first started. It was nice having her reciprocate; I never imagined that I could be so lucky. Brittany was one of a kind; she was a good kind of different, she made me want to open up and spill all of my deepest darkest secrets. One secret in particular loomed over my existence, one I would eventually be forced to reveal. There was a reason I grew up the way I did; I didn't talk to anyone about it, Kurt didn't even know, but it defined me. My past or really, my father's past, defined my future; in more ways than anyone could ever understand.

I wanted to tell her that last night together, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. The morning came too quickly and her car was packed and ready to go before noon. All her belongings, our memories and most importantly, my heart would be going to Maine with her. As we kissed goodbye she promised me again that we would make it work. As I watched her drive away, I held on to that promise like it was the only thing keeping me together. I finished packing up my things and loaded the car ready to make the long trip home to New York. I took one last look around my empty apartment and I brushed a tear from my cheek as I took a trip down memory lane. This was where I met my best friend and this is where I fell in love with her. I turned in my apartment keys, got in my car and headed for the highway with one single thought stuck in my head.

_I really hope that Brittany keeps her promise._

* * *

**New York City - November 2008**

**Brittany's POV**

My head was still reeling from all of the truth that spilled out between Santana and me. I knew all along that I loved her, I just didn't realize I was _in love_ with her. I guess that should have been obvious when I'd find my daydreams completely revolving around her, or when I'd hold her hand tighter and breathe in _deeper_, trying to soak in her scent so I could carry it with me when she wasn't around. Sometimes life is cruel and as cliché as it sounds, you don't realize what you've got until it's gone, or in our case, when it's 400 miles away. I promised her we'd work. We had to. She was the one person in the whole world who made me feel complete. It was 2008, not the Stone Age. There was Myspace and Facebook and AIM and Skype. We could definitely work around the physical distance. It was the emotional distance that snuck up on us.

If you tracked our budding relationship on a time graph, the longer we were apart, the less we talked to each other. We started out strong, Skyping daily and enjoying seeing each others' faces both in the morning and at night. By our second month apart, we both started looking for work and making new friends, so our daily double dose of Skype dwindled down to every other day, then twice a week, and then finally once every other week. When Skype fell by the wayside, we relied on calling one another, because the sound of each others' voice was reassuring and comforting. Unfortunately bills and phone minutes worked against us, so we turned to texts. Four months into our long distance relationship and we were communicating solely by text messages sent randombly throughout the week. It wasn't working. My promise had fallen flat and I felt like the biggest jerk on the planet. Santana deserved to have someone near her, someone who could kiss her goodnight and kiss her good morning; someone who she could literally lean on when rough days threatened to pummel her to the ground. Maine and New York just weren't close enough to allow me to be that person and I felt selfish keeping her to myself when there could be someone better out there for her. The night I brought up our predicament, I actually took the time to call her. She was happy to hear my voice, but her tone went bitter cold when I explained why I was calling. Her walls shot up and I wasn't there in person to hold her close and tell her that she didn't need to block me out. That was the last time we talked. I tried sending her texts throughout the rest of September, but they were thoroughly ignored and I couldn't stand sending out another hopeful ream of words only to have them disappear into the universe, unanswered.

I remained single as my heart was still completely devoted to my best friend. I couldn't bring myself to start up a conversation with anyone, because I'd immediately think of how Santana and I didn't even need to talk, we were comfortable in silence. As the leaves changed and the air outside progressed from crisp to chilled, I increasingly found myself thinking of the girl with eyes the color of dark chocolate. I missed her, more than I had ever missed anyone, but she had cut me out and I had to deal with it. In early November I received a call from Blaine. He was ecstatic and I could barely understand him through his giddy rambling. From what I was able to gather, he and Kurt had hit it off, and since Blaine was living in New Jersey and Kurt was stationed in New York, they were able to really start building a relationship. I was over the moon for them, they were both great guys and I couldn't have asked for someone better for Blaine than Kurt. What I didn't expect was the inside scoop on the Special Victims Unit, which just so happened to be looking for a medical examiner's assistant. I didn't need to be told twice. I packed up my bags, flew to New York, and interviewed with the Chief Medical Examiner, Shannon Beiste and Chief of Police, Sue Sylvester. Both women were headstrong and completely capable in their positions within a male-dominated field. It made me proud to join the ranks of such trailblazers. I stayed in New York for a week, waiting to hear back from the head honchos. When I got the call welcoming me aboard the SVU team, I was elated, and the first person that popped into my head was Santana. _No, Britt. She doesn't wanna talk to you. Just leave her alone_ I told myself. It was the hardest decision I ever made. I didn't text or call her and she didn't even know we were going to be living in the same city. By mid November I had moved into my first brownstone and I was just starting my training under the watchful eye of Dr. Beiste.

It was November 13th, 2008 when I was sitting in Bean Street Café, enjoying my peppermint hot chocolate, when a tan, raven haired woman bustled through the doors and out of the rain. She shook out her umbrella and strode up to the counter in five inch heels. I didn't have to hear her voice or even see her face to know it was Santana. Three years together was enough for me to pinpoint the way she swayed her hips and how she put more weight on her left leg than her right, just as she did now while standing in line. My heart felt like it was going claw its way out of my chest and crawl over to her. Even after her cold shoulder routine, I was completely taken by her. I got up from the worn arm chair I was sitting in and made it to the counter just as she was called up to order. I stepped up behind her and recited the words that I knew were on the tip of her tongue. "Columbian Blend, one sugar, no milk, extra strong."

* * *

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**Replies.**

**forblueskies - Your review is personally one of my favorites, I appreciate you taking the time to write that out and I really hope we do this justice for you. :) **

**mybrittanalove - Rizzoli & Isles fan! I really think you'll appreciate some of the later chapters, personally for me (Becca) I was inspired a lot by the show.**

**Phalanges!Guest - We thank you for the correction! :) It was actually supposed to be plural, but that sneaky 's' got away from us.**

**NooNoMo - We sent you a long explanation to this on tumblr so hopefully you've gotten it! Long story short, Santana limits the people she lets in her personal life and at this point she's still a little shy around Britt. The night at the movie theater really helped pull her out of her shell**


	5. Vivere Senza Rimpianti

**Authors Note** - Hello darlings, thank you for all the wonderful reviews/follows and so on, also a big thank you for being so patient. Cranking out 11,000 words per chapter is time consuming! Here's a little bit of info for some of you that don't understand where the story is going. Basically all of these chapters are leading up to present day Brittana, the main story has yet to be revealed, it has been hinted at throughout the chapters but you'll have to keep reading to see where we plan on going with this. This story will most likely end up being the first installment in a trilogy. Follow the breakingdownandcomingtogethe r tumblr for exclusives, information on upcoming soundtracks and pictures to go along with our story

So without further adieu, here it is. Chapter 5.

**Chapter 4 Recap**

**Brittany & Santana graduated**

**We were introduced to Kurt & Blaine**

**Brittana Kiss!**

**Brittany is in New York, but Santana doesn't know**

**Until Brittany walks up behind her in the cafe, reciting her coffee order**

* * *

**New York City - November 2008**

**Santana's POV**

It was a crisp November morning in New York, I was still getting used to the bitter cold wind and the 2 feet of snow that had glued itself to the ground since October. I had been in New York for a total of 3 months, though it seemed like a lot longer. Kurt managed to get me the job with SVU and I couldn't have been happier; actually that's a lie, yes I could have. It didn't matter that I lived in a beautiful city, had a great job that paid well and was finally accomplishing my dreams. None of it mattered, not without Brittany. September 7th, 4:15pm. That was when I received the phone call that broke my heart. I should have seen it coming, but for some reason I chose not to pay attention to the distance that continued to tear us apart.

She attempted to contact me several times after that phone call but I couldn't bring myself to reply; that was how I worked. The only way to move on from someone and continue with your life was to break all ties and ignore all attempts to contact, or at least that's what I thought. It was two months later and she was still on my mind constantly; I couldn't shake the memory of her or the overwhelming feeling that I should have fought harder. My heart ached the most during the evening, at work I could push the thought of her out of my mind but at night her radiant smile haunted my dreams. I had accepted the fact that even though I'd never see her again, I would never love anyone else like I did her. She was one of a kind, she would always be my Brittany.

I left my apartment at 6:30am on November 13th. I had my first trial that afternoon and I wanted to head over to the precinct early to review the notes on the case. Rachel Berry or, 'the troll patrol' as I liked to call her was my sad excuse for a boss. She nit-picked every single thing I did and hovered over me like a fly for the first three months I worked for the NYPD, making sure I was ready for this day. For once she was going to let me do the talking, unlike every other time in court where she would cut me off mid-sentence and take over the prosecution all on her own. She was a controlling, loud mouthed mother fucker and I suspected she would continue to be the bane of my existence for the remainder of my career.

The precinct was only 5 blocks away from my apartment, but that didn't stop me from driving there. If my hair spent more than five minutes exposed to the cold it would be a static nightmare and God knows I couldn't deal with that today. I parked my Honda across the street from The Bean Street Cafe and grabbed my heels from the back seat before heading inside. Heels were a part of my signature look; being taller intimidated people and being 5'3 didn't exactly help me out in that department. I made up for being vertically challenged by adding heels to every work outfit and sporting a quick-witted tongue that impressed even the most seasoned lawyers and detectives. I could talk circles around most of the attorneys in this city, outsmarting them with my wealth of knowledge and knocking them off their pedestals with my abrasive verbal bashing at the drop of a hat. I'm almost positive that's why I was hired so quickly, along with Kurt's recommendation of course. The Captain wanted someone ruthless and persistent, which described my personality perfectly, but it's a whole different story if you're tactfully ruthless and that's how I stood out. All I needed was a year to prove myself, then Troll Berry would be the one taking orders from me.

As I walked through the cafe door, I inhaled the familiar aroma of roasted coffee beans, something I would never get tired of. Coffee was part of my daily routine. It had been that way for the past 8 years and it wasn't going to change anytime soon. The only thing was that now, every time I ordered it, I couldn't help but think of a certain blonde barista who screwed up my simple order over 3 years ago. That cup of coffee was the worst thing I had ever tasted, but it was my favorite cup anyone's ever made for me.

I walked to the counter as I ran my fingers through my messy dark curls. My hair had never been this long before but I was growing to like it, even though it was a bitch to dry in the morning. I stepped up to the barista, ready to place my order, when I heard a chillingly familiar voice speak from behind me.

"Columbian Blend, one sugar, no milk, extra strong."

I hesitantly turned around and was met with Brittany's piercing blue eyes. Stunned didn't even begin to describe how I was feeling, she smiled at me as she scanned my face for a reaction.

"Miss? Miss! Do you want to order or not?" The barista called out impatiently as a line now formed behind us, leading towards the door.

I whipped my head around to look at the source of the rude interruption. My glare was enough to scar the teenage boy for life, but I felt that words were a nice cherry to the top of the proverbial cake. "Calm your tits, Pizza face. You're here to serve me, remember? You'll wait as long as I need you to, damn it!" I spat out, staring him down with my signature bitch glare.

Brittany walked past me and handed the boy a $5 bill. "Here, just take the order I gave you and keep the change," she said politely before turning back to me and guiding me over to a table. I still hadn't said anything to her, mostly because I was convinced I was dreaming, but also because in my heart I was still angry with her. Despite that anger, I managed to pull myself out of my haze before we sat down. I reached for her arm and pulled her into me engulfing her in a bone crushing hug.

"Brittany, I never thought-" I held her tighter and tucked my face into her neck, breathing in the sweet lavender that had been absent from my life for far too long. I felt like an addict that had relapsed after being in rehab; Brittany was intoxicating in the best possible way. "How are you here right now?"

I pulled away to take in her features, recommitting them to memory, not wanting to ever look at anything else ever again. She snaked her hand into my own and looked at me the way she did on graduation day, with eyes full of indescribable love and hope.

"I live here. I've only been in town a little while but I got offered a job with SVU. Tana, I've missed you, more than I can even tell you and I'd be lying if I said I came out here just for the job." Brittany inched closer to me, looking between my eyes and parted lips. People were probably staring at us but at this point I couldn't care about anything that wasn't the love of my life standing in front of me. Did I hear her correctly? She's working in the same unit as me and she already lives out here? Wait, what was that about not just coming out here for the job? My mind was exploding with questions but before I could think to ask one she closed the gap between us and pressed her lips against mine.

Her kiss breathed new life into me; soft lips molded with my own and parted them, allowing our tongues to dance gracefully together for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. I could feel all of the emotions bubbling up inside of me, the one's I had felt during that last day at school. It was out of my control, everything was flooding back. It was like she'd come home; she was back in my arms where she belonged.

November 13th, 7:15am was when my heart started beating again.

We reluctantly broke the kiss and sat down at a table by the window. I'm not sure if the barista ever brought over my coffee, but I do know that It didn't even matter if he did, I wouldn't have cared. We stared at each other for a while, our hands locked tightly together; I think we were afraid of the loss of contact. I was the first one to break the silence.

"I'm sorry. I'm still trying to process this whole thing. You're telling me, you're living here, in New York AND you're working for Special Victims?" I looked for confirmation, still not quite grasping the magnitude of the conversation. She nodded her head and smiled genuinely at me, squeezing my hand even tighter.

"I wanted to tell you sooner but I thought-" She stopped, looking down at the ground solemnly. It was like a ghost had just passed through her. I could see the color drain from her face as she recalled the events of the past few months. A twinge of pain plucked at the strings of my heart and I couldn't help but interrupt her.

"Hey, look at me," I said, searching for her eyes to meet my own.

"I never stopped." I paused for a moment trying to find the courage to continue.

"Remember the day we were studying and you flipped out on me because I had trash everywhere? First of all, you're lucky I didn't go balls to the wall on your ass-" Brittany laughed, appreciating the fact that I'd lightened the mood a little.

"Secondly," I continued, taking her hand firmly between both of my own.

"That was the first time I told you I loved you, Britt. And since then, I haven't stopped...I haven't stopped loving you." I looked down quickly, suddenly feeling shy and vulnerable at my confession. I couldn't help it, I did love her. No matter what had happened over the past few months, my heart still craved her love and I couldn't deny that she made me happier than anyone ever had.

She looked up at me through tear-filled eyes and kissed my palm before holding it to her cheek. "I love you too, Santana. I've loved you all along. I'm sorry about not keeping my promise. It was just so hard, being away from you hurt so much and then we stopped talking and-" I cut her off before she could work herself up too much more.

"Listen, you're here now okay? We're here now. Let's just start over; clean slate?" I cooed, looking up at her with hope.

"Start over? But I don't want to be your friend. I can't go through 3 years of pretending not to love you San, I just can't!" Brittany huffed and shook her head violently at my suggestion. I chuckled lightly at her misconception. I had missed how cute she looked when she panicked.

"Come on Britt Britt, you know me, I couldn't do that either. I mean let's start over from where we left off at graduation. Like, how about I take you out on a date?" Her face lit up at my suggestion and I gave myself a mental high five for being so smooth. Brittany always helped me learn new things about myself and I was definitely not the romantic type, but when It came to her I was willing to be anything she needed me to be. I wanted to be someone she deserved.

"I'd like that, a lot," she beamed, leaning over to capture my lips in a kiss once again. A feeling of contentment wrapped me up in a warm blanket and we fell into a comfortable silence, just staring at each other and grinning like teenagers. It wasn't until I glanced at the clock that I remembered where I was supposed to be.

"SHIT!" I yelled, jumping out of my chair. "Britt, I'm late for work! It's 8:40! I gotta go. Fuck, the court case is in a few hours!" I fumbled around looking for my purse and cell phone, internally scolding myself for losing track of time. "Shit, Rachel is going to have my ass on a platter!"

"Oh my God, Beiste is going to kill me! I'm late too!" She cried, scrambling to gather her things just as I did. "I'm going to get fired before I even get to play with a corpse!"

"Hurry up Britt!" I called out, opening the door for her as she ran out of the cafe towards the precinct. We sprinted inside the building, greeting the security guards and brandishing our badges before rushing over to the elevator. The down arrow flashed, signaling that it was time for her to leave me. She looked over and beamed me her award winning smile before stepping inside. "I'll see you later?" she asked nervously. "Definitely." I replied grinning wildly back at her as the door closed and we were separated once again. She had been out of my sight for less than 10 seconds and I already missed her. I continued to press the elevator button furiously as I impatiently waited for my lift. My arrow finally chimed and at the same time so did my phone.

Text from Britt: Tomorrow, 7:30pm. I'll be ready and waiting at 36 Cooper Square for you to pick me up for our date.

Text from Britt: Ps. I miss you already too (:

I smiled brightly as I typed out my reply, readying myself to kick ass on the case I had waiting for me. Still, with court on my mind and a full work day ahead of me I couldn't help but dwell on one particular thought.

I knew she'd keep her promise.

* * *

**Brittany's POV**

My head was swimming. I woke up completely ready to take on my training day and in one life altering moment my attention was zapped. I didn't even hear the ding of the elevator or see the doors open to the long stretch of hallway that lead to the Coroner's Office. I was glued to my spot as my mind flashed back to what I could only assume was a surreal daydream brought on by lack of sleep and inner yearning. I closed my eyes and the doors did the same; I was being lifted higher even though I already felt like I was floating. All I could think about was Santana and a morning graced by the gods.

_Out of the millions of people in this city, she waltzed into the same coffee shop that I was lounging in. Fate laid a hand, and I wasn't turning my back on it. Her temper was as easily stoked as ever, but it stemmed from shock and disbelief and not from actual malevolence. I defused the situation with my natural ease and guided her away to cover us in our own bubble of privacy. When Santana's eyes locked on mine, something within me caught fire. It was like the little flame of my adoration for her blazed with the strength of a thousand suns. Seeing her face, hearing her voice, touching her skin, all brought that searing decadence back into my body. I was instantly charged by the electricity between us and I couldn't focus my attention on anything, except her. Her hair was longer, her skin a shade darker, and her eyelashes were doubly thick, but she was still Santana. I couldn't tear my eyes away and the urge to taste her was overwhelming. Our kiss literally filled me with whatever it was that had been missing for those five months we spent apart; it was like satisfying a craving I'd had for a lifetime. I grasped onto her as if she'd dissipate like a fine mist and reveled in the sweet melody of her reassuring voice. _

The second time, the chime of the elevator ushered in a crowd of New York's finest and I was jostled out of my trance-like state. Slightly confused, I rode the lift to the second floor and once again found myself alone in the small compartment when the men and women in blue took to their posts. I was about to hit the SB button to take me back down to the sub-basement exam room, but my hand trailed upward and punched the number 3. I had to know if the morning was only in my mind or if Santana was really here, just four flights above me.

My stomach flipped when I exited onto the stone floor that soaked up the muffled sound of my soft-soled sneakers. No one was at the main desk so I wandered down the hallway of my own accord. I had no idea where her office would be, or if it even existed; I was still in a mental state of denial and overpowering hope. Halfway down the corridor a tall, lanky mail clerk pushed his cart into the hall without looking and ran over my foot.

"Ow!" I yelped, jumping away from the blindsided attack and lifting my foot into the air, rotating my ankle.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you? Do you need ice or something?" His dopey face contorted with worry as he reached forward to steady me.

"No, I'm fine." I was about to breeze by him when a thought light bulb beamed. "Wait. You're the mail boy, right? Do you know where Santana Lopez's office is?" My words squeaked out with excitement and hope and I wrung my hands together in anticipation.

"Mail _clerk,_" he corrected, puffing out his chest, allowing me to read his ID badge.

"Oh, right. Sorry…Finn." I addressed him by his name to stroke his obviously fragile ego and repeated my question with an underlying sternness to my voice; I didn't have time for his haughtiness. "Santana Lopez's office?" I urged.

He looked me up and down slowly and thrust his thumb over his right shoulder. "Last door on the left. Can't miss it; it's the one with the constant flow of cuss words." He backed up his trolley and let me pass, muttering a soft, "good luck" as I power walked down the hall.

Finn's description of 'foul-mouth central' made me giggle and I was already beaming by the time I reached the glass-paned door. _This is real_, I thought to myself, tracing my finger over the black script of her name that labeled the glass. I opened the door without knocking and closed it behind me with a soft click; her back was to me as she rifled through the manila folders in her metal filing cabinet.

"I told you I'd bring you the updated brief when I was finished, Berry. Fuck. Just give me a damn minute," she huffed without turning.

I crossed the room in five fast strides and whipped her around to face me. Her hand shot out to defend herself, but I could read her reaction in an instant. I grabbed her wrist before she could smack me and crashed my lips against hers. I let go of her wrist and her hand shot back to tangle into my hair that I had yet to fasten into a pony tail. I wrapped my arms around her middle and pulled her into me. She was my height in her crazy heels so I didn't have to lift, so I used my strength to pull her body flush against mine. She tugged on my hair as our kiss deepened with need and longing and I lost myself in the coffee tinged taste of her mouth.

My mind was starting to swirl as the lack of oxygen to my brain took effect; even my lungs burned angrily. I broke our kiss and stared at her swollen lips while breathing hard, drawing sweet relief into my aching chest, which spread to my head. "I couldn't…I had to…" My words came out in broken pants and my brain and mouth couldn't agree on what to say. She stared back at me, her hot, labored breaths mixing with my own. She said nothing and before I could catch my breath fully, her lips were molding to mine slowly. Our kissing, once fiercely passionate, morphed into a slow, deep burn that told me everything I needed to know. She missed me, just as I had missed her, and that alone was enough for me to forgive all the unanswered texts and her brutal way of cutting me out.

We broke apart slowly and I kept my eyes closed so I could remember the way she tasted for years to come. This kiss. This was the kiss I would tell people about when they asked how I knew Santana was the one for me. I fluttered my eyes open and delved into her loving gaze before sharing a soft smile with her. "36 Cooper Square," I breathed against her lips softly, never breaking eye contact. She nodded silently and I pulled away from her. I felt whole for the first time in months and with the knowledge that this was indeed happening, I could once again feel the invisible cord that tethered my heart to hers.

* * *

**Santana's POV**

I had been sitting outside her apartment for 15 minutes. I was a little early, actually I was half an hour early. Her brownstone looked impressive from the outside but I couldn't shake the persistent curiosity that tugged away at my chest. I wanted to know what the inside looked like; more than anything I wanted to know if she had our pictures on display anywhere. My apartment was on the other side of town and was nothing like what hers seemed to be. It was fully furnished and on the 10th floor; it was a beautiful place but it wasn't exactly a home. I had the rest of my life to find a house to call my own, so in the meantime I decided to live in style.

I plugged in my iPhone and turned up the music as I waited for 7:30pm to roll around. I skipped through the overplayed top 40's hits and settled on a more calming song, one that reminded me of a certain blue-eyed blonde. I couldn't help but sing along with Adele's impeccable voice.

"Daydreamer with eyes that make you melt. She lends her coat for shelter. Plus she's there for you when she shouldn't be. But she stays all the same, waits for you, then sees you through."

My performance came to a screeching halt when I saw a text appear on my screen. I read the words several times over and felt all the heat in my body rush to my cheeks.

Text from Brittany: I don't know what you're singing right now, but I just wanted to tell you that you look beautiful. I'll be right out. ;-)

I couldn't find the words to reply so instead I sat there, wallowing in my embarrassment and cursing the fact that I parked so close to her building that she could see me. When she revealed herself, the embarrassment vanished and a wave of excitement crashed over me; it left me feeling dizzy and wanting more. She smiled at me shyly and walked around to the passenger side door, sliding into the seat with ease. She reached over and grabbed my hand as she leaned in to kiss my eager lips, pulling back just moments later.

"This is what we should have been doing three years ago." She said softly, squeezing my hand a little tighter.

I laughed and shrugged my shoulders, trying to act nonchalant. "Well maybe if you'd gotten my coffee order right, I would have asked you out." I winked at her playfully.

"That's not fair." She pouted and pulled her hand away from mine.

Normally I would have tickled her into submission, but I didn't know how much coffee she'd had that day and I didn't want a repeat of the caffeine pill incident, so I settled for a few kind words. "Who am I kidding, that coffee order is the reason I'm here with you right now, Britt. You had me before you even said hello."

I could see a smile on her face in the reflection of the window, even though she was still turned away from me. I started the ignition and rested my hand on her thigh as I pulled out of the parking spot. Her hand found its way underneath mine to lace our fingers together again and she reached for my phone to turn on the music; instead she saw her text message to me.

"You have a heart next to my name in your phone." She breathed out softly, barely loud enough for me to hear.

I felt my cheeks burning for a second time and I nodded slowly, keeping my eyes on the road. She didn't say anything else, she didn't need to, she just smiled and closed the text before scrolling through my playlists until she found a song she liked. _Kiss Me Slowly_ was the one she settled on; to my surprise she knew every word. Her voice gave me chills; it was so pure and light, just one more thing to add to the 'things I love about Brittany' list. She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her texts, stopping on my name.

"I have a heart next to your name too," she said, placing her phone next to mine in the cup holder so I could see it for myself. It was official, she never stopped loving me either; I knew it.

We spent the rest of the evening indulging in Italian food and one another's company; it was our first real date and it was perfect. I'd forgotten how intoxicating Brittany could be. I wanted nothing more than to be selfish and keep her all to myself for the next week just to make up for lost time. As unrealistic as that was, I could feel she wanted it too. By the end of our date, we had closed the place down. We were the only two people left in the restaurant besides the staff and I tipped them generously as we left. One thing I'd learned in my short time living in the city, always over tip restaurant staff; they'll remember you.

I drove Brittany home and walked her to her door, still fighting the urge to invite myself inside. I pulled her close to me and let my heart take over. I pressed my lips against hers, slipping my tongue into her mouth immediately. I felt her hands reach under my shirt, drawing circles on the small of my back. I moaned at the contact I'd been craving all evening, but pulled away knowing it was the right thing to do.

"You can come in, if you want." She said, her eyes dark with a lust that matched my own. That only made it that much harder to deny the one thing I wanted the most.

"I want to Britt, but do you think it's a good idea? I mean, we only just saw each other again yesterday. I don't want you to do anything you don't want-"

She cut off my words with another passion-filled kiss. There was no turning back; she had me up against the front door before I could protest again. She skillfully rifled through her purse for her keys while still keeping our mouths attached. Within two minutes we were inside the apartment and this time I had her pinned up against the wall. Three years I'd been waiting to do this.

* * *

**Brittany's POV**

All evening I couldn't bring myself to look at anything or anyone else besides Santana. She literally took my breath away from the moment I saw her belting out some tune in her car and all night long my lungs burned for more oxygen. I was playfully running my hand along her inner thigh at the restaurant when the busboys started stacking the chairs on top of the tables and throwing us curt glances. I whispered my worries to Santana and she nonchalantly packed up our leftovers, signed off on the check, and left a hefty tip for their troubles. The car ride home was achingly long and the walk to my door had butterflies swarming in my tummy. When Santana's mouth met mine, my lips parted willingly and her tongue slipped into me as if finding its original home. I moaned my approval into her and slid my hands beneath her coat and shirt, relishing in the warm, smooth skin of her lower back. The moan I received in return kicked my libido into high gear and all I wanted to do was ravage her. It had been three years in the making and there was no way I was letting one more day come between me and the tension pulling at my lower abdomen. Her politeness and respect made me beam, but the heat between my legs overpowered my romantic side. I wanted her, and I wanted her right then and there; if I hadn't found my keys, I surely would have indulged in sex on my front stoop, come hell or high water. Luckily, I was able to get the door open, but my own sexual aggression was overpowered and I was shoved back against the hallway wall as the door slammed shut.

"I want you," she growled before biting down on my neck, causing a low moan to rumble through me. It stung beautifully and I turned my head to the side, exposing more of my sensitive skin. My hands, which were clenched into the lapels of her coat, yanked at the heavy outerwear. She pulled back enough to shrug off her coat, but she came back with full force, lapping up my neck to tug on my earlobe. I couldn't stand it anymore, I needed her skin against mine; I needed to feel her direct heat. I shoved her enough that she stumbled back with a shocked look on her face.

"The fuck, Britt?" she crowed, her brows furrowing in frustration. I wordlessly pulled her closer before gripping the material of her long sleeved button up in both fists. With a hard, lust-fueled yank I ripped her shirt open and buttons littered my hallway floor. She looked down at her shirt and then up at me with wide eyes, clearly in shock of my actions, before forcefully "helping" me out of my own coat and pulling my silk top over my head impatiently. My mouth was watering as I took in her black lace bra and I slipped my hand between my legs for just a split second as she shed her ruined top. The attempt at friction was denied as she gripped my wrists hard and, before I could utter a single word, pinned both of my arms to the wall; for someone so petite she was incredibly strong. "No," she demanded, nudging my legs open and fitting her upper thigh against my center.

"Oh, fuck, yes," I groaned loudly, rolling my hips forward and finding the much needed friction against her leg. I hardly ever swore, but I was wound tighter that a pin spring and I was hungry for release. My own aggression, which had been so rampant, keeled over for the chance to be thrown into orgasm. I gave up my fight and submitted to her every movement. When she felt my struggle cease, she released my arms and slid her left hand beneath the waistband of my black skinny jeans. I knew I had already soaked through my underwear, but the easy gliding of her fingers through my folds made me groan in utter need. "Tana," I begged, pushing my hips forward as her thumb grazed over my clit.

"You are so damn wet, Britt," she countered as she used her free hand to effortlessly unhook my bra. The pink satin slipped down my shoulders and she tore it from my arms before I looped them around her neck. I dug my fingernails into her upper back and she thrust two fingers into me while simultaneously biting down on my lower lip. My back arched from the sudden intrusion and I gasped out in a high pitch. She picked up a steady rhythm and I rocked against her while our tongues wrestled for dominance. Once again she won out and I was completely filled by her. I let deep moans roll through me and into her and she responded by stroking my bundle of nerves in fast, tight circles. I was on the brink of ecstasy when she slipped out of me and broke away from our kiss. I whimpered at the loss of contact and opened my eyes to find her dropped to her knees. She undid my pants, pulled them, along with my underwear, over my hips and down my legs before wrenching off my boots and peeling both garments away from my damp skin.

"What are you…" My question was cut short as she pulled my left leg over her shoulder and steadied my body with her right hand. While looking up at me she dipped her head between my legs and slowly dragged her tongue along my folds. I reached out and grabbed a fistful of her hair and my right leg trembled, threatening to give out. I lowered more of my weight onto her shoulder and bucked my hips forward when she plunged her tongue into me.

"Oh my God," I whined, already precariously close to climax. She swirled her tongue inside of me and I lost all control of my body as heat flooded through me and down through my center. My hips jerked involuntarily and I could hear her moan in approval, but I was riding out my orgasm in utter, long-awaited bliss.

"So good," she cooed as I tried to regain my senses. My right leg felt like jello and I was slowly sliding down the hallway wall. She supported me enough that I didn't come crashing to the floor, but I soon found myself staring at the ceiling of my entryway, panting out breaths through a smile wide enough to split my face in two. Within moments she was back on top of me, having discarded the rest of her clothing, and she tangled us in a knot of damp, naked flesh.

Our bodies writhed together on the hardwood floor and I found myself lost in the aroma our mixed scents.

"Bed," I groaned, imaging her hands grasping my black silk sheets.

"Later," she returned, keeping her hips rocking a steady rhythm as her wet center rode against my upper thigh. I pulled her in close, kissing her deeply, as she twisted her body into positions that gave her the best friction.

We eventually moved to my bedroom, both of us shaking in aftershocks, and we continued our sexcapades until the early morning hours. We were both exhausted and panting, sated by our marathon of pent up urges by the time we both crashed into mini comas. It had taken us over one thousand days to reach this point in our relationship, but it was worth every second.

* * *

**April 2009, The Confession.**

**Brittany's POV**

The roller coaster weather that plagued April in New York was frustrating me. One day it would be bone-chillingly cold and a day later people were walking through Central Park in shorts and flip flops. I'm all for variety, but if I forgot my coat on a sunny day, I'd be shivering as I walked to my car at night, the temperature having plummeted while I was underground in what was dubbed "the dungeon." On this particular day it happened to be rather cold outside, but the tiny heater in the morgue office had broken and instead of being unable to turn it on, we were unable to turn it off. It was sweltering in the little box-like room and I swear even the filing cabinets were ready to melt into a puddle. Shannon was fanning herself with a file folder and downing water like she had been lost in the desert for years.

"How can you stand this, Britt?" She groaned, swiveling in her desk chair to face me. "I feel like a hog with arthritic joints and no hooves."

I furrowed my brow in confusion and tried not to picture such a depressing animal.

"Beiste, that doesn't make any sense." A cold, harsh voice made me snap around to face the doorway. "You think this is bad? Try living with Crohn's Disease during Menopause, now that's heat," Sue barked, lowering her eyes to my supervisor. "Now stop moanin' and groanin' like a cat in heat and get to the exam room. We've got another body for you to slice and dice." With that, Sylvester turned on her heel and marched down the hallway. "Chop chop, lazies!" she yelled over her shoulder, garnering an eye roll from my larger counterpart.

"Is she always so …crude?" I ventured, standing up from my chair and pulling a fresh report slip from the drawer.

"Afraid so, Punkin'. Instead of internalizing, she externalizes. This job ain't easy for no one." She patted me on my shoulder, took a last swig from her giant water jug, and led us back down to the autopsy room.

My palms were balmy and I could feel the cool breeze on the back of my neck where a trail of sweat had weaved its way down between my shoulder blades. The drop in temperature between the office sauna and the refrigerated exam room made goosebumps erupt across my body like little mountain ranges. I followed Shannon to the side bench to snap on gloves and I retrieved the standard medical tray that was used for dissection. Once I had everything set up, I pulled the plastic-lined paper sheet down, exposing the body of a teenage girl with boot marks stamped across her collapsed ribcage. After months of examining homicide victims I had learned how to swallow the bile that always crept up my throat. There were some seriously sick people in this world.

I turned on the spotlight above the table and positioned it so the body was immersed in bright light; her skin was a pale purple and the nearly black bruises made my stomach lurch. Shaking my head slightly, I flicked on the microphone used for autopsy account records and began the preliminary examination.

"Case number G7835. Victim is a Caucasian female, mid to late teens, brown hair, hazel eyes, beauty mark resting on right zygomatic process. Height is five feet six inches, weight is one hundred and fifty-six pounds." I trailed my gloved hand over her arm softly and searched her body for evidence that could help us put her abuser behind bars. "No visible lacerations. Trauma to all ten digits of the hands as well as extensive bruising along the ribcage, spanning ribs eight through twelve. Fingernail scrapings being collected and sent to Forensics." I scraped under what was left of her fingernails and sealed the evidence bag before setting it aside. It took me nearly an hour to go through the external examination, noting and collecting any significant markings and fibers and tagging the evidence for the SVU detectives. She hadn't been raped, which at least let my stomach unclench a little, but it didn't change the fact that she was cold as ice and her family didn't even know she wasn't part of their living world anymore. I switched off the microphone and let out a huffed sigh. "All yours, Dr. Beiste," I offered, giving her space to move in toward the body. She looked at me and smiled while shaking her head softly.

"Not today, Britt. You're riding solo on this one. I'm just here to supervise," she explained, giving me a look full of pride and admiration.

My jaw dropped open slightly and I blinked rapidly. _My first solo autopsy. Holy Moly!_ I looked back at the girl lying on the metal table and gave a curt nod. "I'll do good by you," I whispered, turning away from Shannon and once again flicking on the overhead microphone. I picked up the scalpel and looked over my shoulder at my mentor before starting. She gave me a nod of encouragement that settled me into professional focus. "Beginning internal examination," I stated, pressing the sharp tool to rigid skin and slicing a large Y across her chest and down to her navel. _This is it,_ I thought, _this is what you've worked so hard to do._ I set the scalpel aside and continued with the obduction, my voice ringing out clearly in the silent chamber.

Once I had washed up from the exam and all of the evidence and records were cataloged, I walked back into the searing office and collapsed into my chair. Shannon had given me a hug for doing such a great job and I felt dazed by the fact that I had actually done something on my own, something that could help heal a family with closure and bring justice to the girl taken too early from this world. I had just closed my eyes in peace and breathed out a sigh of relief when someone knocked on the door, waking me from my respite.

"Hey there, Superstar." I didn't even need to see her to know it was Santana; her voice was unlike any other in this world and it set my heart fluttering. "I ran into Beiste in the hall. She told me about your one-woman show. Way to go babe!" she gushed, walking into the office and closing the door behind her. I pivoted the chair smoothly and gave her an exasperated look.

"Thanks! But if you close that door we're gonna melt into goo," I teased, rocking back slightly and giving her a playful grin.

She ignored me and flipped the lock so no one would barge in. I lifted my brow and watched a devilish smirk flash across her face.

"It is awfully hot in here," she purred, peeling off her blazer and unbuttoning her blouse as she walked towards me. My eyes widened and I swallowed thickly at the sight of her cleavage. We'd been together as a couple for five months and this was the first time either of us had instigated sex outside of the safe walls of our apartments.

"Let's celebrate your achievement," she husked, straddling my lap with her heel clad feet planted firmly on the ground. She tugged my head back using my high ponytail and I let out a guttural moan that made her roll her hips into me. "You're hotter than this fucking office," she cussed against my lips before crashing her mouth against mine. I was spring-boarded from arousal to full blown lust as her coffee infused tongue roamed my mouth. I slid my hands over her bare abs and up to cup her breasts, pawing at the lace that impeded my direct contact with her skin. She hummed into my mouth in approval and I pinched her hardening nipples lightly, making her buck her pelvis forward instinctively. The wheeled chair we were sharing slid backward with the force and we collided with the far metal cabinet. We were hungry for each other and our impatience led to our inability to keep quiet. I was slipping my hand just beneath her trouser waistband when her mouth broke away from mine and she let out a moan that made heat pool between my legs. While it was enough to send my hand shooting south, it was also enough to garner a knock at the door.

"Britt, you okay in there honey? Did you forget how the lock works again?" Shannon's sweet, concerned voice broke through my lustful daze and I watched as Santana's eyes widened in shock. Obviously we had thought there'd be enough time for a secret rendezvous, but we were both horribly wrong.

"Just don't answer," Santana whispered, nipping along my jawline as she threaded her hand under my scrub shirt and massaged my right breast. I closed my eyes and was about to slip back into bliss when a nagging thought finally made itself clear as a key was wiggled into the old, sometimes infuriating, lock.

"I'm fine!" I blurted out loudly, Santana's hand still making my body squirm as her lips trailed the length of my throat. "I spilled coffee and I'm changing scrubs, be right out!" My heart was racing and I could feel Santana's evil grin against my neck.

"Quick thinking, Doctor," she teased, placing one last kiss on my damp skin before sitting back to look at me.

"Do you have any idea how badly I want you right now?" I countered, helping her button her shirt grudgingly.

"I have a pretty good idea, B." She leaned in again and kissed near my temple. "I'm so wet for you," she groaned into my ear quietly, before standing up and smoothing out her outfit. I just watched her as the knot in my lower abdomen cinched tighter. "We're continuing this tonight. My place." Her tone was firm and unrelenting and it made me smile and nod in submission.

"As you wish," I agreed, surveying her body one last time before getting out of my chair. I walked to the door as she picked up her blazer and the rush of cool air that swirled around the room made me mewl with relief; I hadn't realized how humid and hot the room had gotten in such a short time.

I watched Shannon eye Santana as she strutted out of the office, offering a polite wave goodbye. I blushed deeply as her kind, motherly eyes fixed on me.

"Some coffee that was, huh Punkin'." She winked at me before coming into the office and laying down her folders.

"My favorite flavor," I joked back, both of our laughter filling the tiny, heated space.

* * *

**Santana's POV**

I begrudgingly crossed the threshold out of Brittany's office and made my way towards Rachel's. I decided to take the long way to give myself enough time to cool down and allow the painstakingly obvious glow of mischief to rid itself from of my face. Rachel Berry was a pain in the ass, but she was no idiot. She was also unapologetically intrusive and I wasn't going to be caught dead discussing my sex life with that hobbit.

Brittany and I had been together for about five months, though to me it felt like a lot less than that. I didn't want time to fly by so fast, but I was excited for summer to arrive. Warm weather meant more time outside and less clothing, and Brittany in less clothing was something I supported wholeheartedly. Tonight would be a milestone in our relationship; I had a special evening planned for us and I'd been worried all week about it working out perfectly. I was more worried however, that it would change our lighthearted and 'head over heels' relationship; that was the last thing I wanted. I planned to take her to Washington Park to walk around and talk. The downside to both of us working with the NYPD was that it didn't exactly give us a lot of free time to explore or make plans. It would be impossible for me to count the amount of times we'd had to cancel on each other over the past couple months. It was tiresome, but it was better than being hundreds of miles away; at least I could see her at work. That was another reason I was so nervous about the date. If she did start seeing me differently, or worse treating me differently, I wouldn't be able to escape it. Brittany knew me better than anyone, but there were still a few bones in my closet that I needed to expose to her.

I glanced at my watch, noting that I had 15 minutes until I had to meet with Rachel. Luckily, the rolling clouds of worry alleviated the nagging pressure in between my legs from my rendezvous with Brittany. The meeting wouldn't be as painful now that I had regained my normal color. Hopefully the hobbit would leave my personal life alone. Instead, she would nag me for countless excruciating minutes on being prepared for a case and having the right 'attitude' with the other attorneys. The elevator bell chimed and I walked out onto the main floor, stopping by the break room to grab a cup of coffee before visiting my favorite security guard.

"What's up Crip?" I teased, walking by the security desk. I stopped and leaned over the counter, purposefully resting my chest in his direct line of view."

Artie covered his eyes and waved his hand in the air. "That is another level of not okay!" he proclaimed before reaching for his crutch, playfully pretending to whack me with it.

Artie was probably my favorite security guard. His sarcasm rivaled mine and he was good to Brittany. He always kept an eye on her for me and even though I'd never tell him, I appreciated it a lot. Back in March, he tore his ACL playing basketball with some of the detectives, which left him on desk duty for the next 3 months. I, of course, decided to take every opportunity I could find to ridicule him for it. He was in the middle of telling me about his suspicion that two detectives in our unit were more than just partners when I abruptly changed the subject, seeing that Chief Sylvester was coming around the corner.

Sue briskly walked by us. She was almost out the door when she saw Artie chewing on something behind the desk. "What the hell is this?" She asked, obviously appalled at the plate of donuts in front of him. "You get one little injury and now you're going all obese rookie cop on me, Stubbles? You're letting yourself go and I can smell the shame wafting from your sugary clogged pores." She threw the donuts and the plate in the trash before putting on her sunglasses and strolling towards the door. "I won't have fat people on my team Abrams, security included! I need fit and healthy not McFatty and McChunky!" With that, she exited the building and I was almost in tears with laughter.

"Don't even pretend like you wouldn't be all up on this if you had the chance." He challenged, crossing his arms over his stomach and leaning back in his chair.

"You seem to be forgetting that I do have the chance. If I told you to meet me in the bathroom in five, I'm pretty positive you'd be right behind me." I flirted, trying to keep my best bitch face on.

He looked at me with wide eyes and his mouth agape. Before he could say something my facade diminished and laughter erupted from my chest once again. "I'm joking you ass! Calm down, I don't want you getting all excited over there. No one wants to see that."

"No one wants to see what?" A voice interrupted. Detective Puckerman strolled up to the desk and stood next to me with one hand in his pocket, leaning into the wood casually. "Lopez, Abrams." He greeted, winking in my direction and blatantly giving me the once over.

I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head, giving Artie the familiar 'here we go again' glare before answering. "First of all, you need to be more careful with your leering. I can feel you undressing me with your eyes. Secondly, we were just talking about how I don't want to see any dicks today, but unfortunately here you stand."

"Well shit, she done told you," Artie snickered, leaning back in his chair again, waiting for Puck to make his counter attack in our verbal war.

Puck caved quickly and chuckled at my quick-witted insult as he pushed my shoulder. "Calm your tits, Lopez. I'm just appreciating what's in front of me. I know the rules, look but don't touch. Brittany knows how to use a scalpel and I prefer to keep my balls attached." He said placing a hand over his crotch.

I nodded my head proudly and flashed him a genuine smile. "You're damn right she does. Glad to see you've learned your place." I finally returned his wink and nodded over to the doors, wanting to talk to him privately for a moment. "I'll catch you later Artie, don't forget to remind Brittany to leave work on time," I called out as Puck and I moved closer to the doors.

"You got it mama," he replied, waving goodbye.

Puck and I made our way through the double doors and towards the stairwell. I only had a few more minutes before I needed to meet with Rachel and I wanted to find out more about the Ruhlman case. Harvey Ruhlman was arrested for the rape and murder of a 14 year old girl on the East side. He had been a suspect in three other murder cases but the prosecutor that had worked with SVU before me had tampered with evidence letting the bastard walk. The Captain also found out he had been working with other criminals and cutting deals to put specific people in prison. When something like this happens, it not only ruins the reputation of the Unit it can also ruin the 5 years of hard work the detectives have put into catching these fuckers. When internal affairs gets involved in something like this, the criminals we put away can use our indiscretion as grounds for an appeal. In other words, it's a shit show and you don't want it to happen.

"Alright, let's cut the shit for a minute and get down to business," I said firmly, receiving a nod from him in return. "What do you have on Ruhlman?"

"We found the girl and Beiste finished the autopsy report last night. There were traces of semen still inside her and we have the murder weapon with his prints on it. This should be a fucking cake walk, San. We just need to make sure everything is above board. If I see this mother fucker walk again I'll lose my badge for killing him myself." Puck clenched his fists, gritting his teeth. The thought of seeing Ruhlman walk again made his blood boil; there was no way he nor I would let that happen.

"I've got this one, Puck, trust me. I'm a crafty bitch but I do everything above board; you can count on me." I gave him a reassuring smile before reaching the third level door. "Alright, I've gotta go meet with Rachel before she returns to the shire. I'll call you later."

I headed down the hall towards Rachel's office, watching Puck walk towards Quinn's, recalling Artie's suspicion about a certain detective duo. I was almost in Rachel's office, but I turned on my heels when I heard Puck call my name.

"Lopez!" He said, peeking his head out of Quinn's office door.

"It's good to finally have someone on the team that knows what they're doing," he admitted. It was a rare thing, hearing Puck give out a compliment like that. He and Quinn had worked with the NYPD for over 10 years; both of them worked their way up from the police academy to detectives. They were skeptical of new blood, rightfully so, but luckily Brittany and I seemed to mesh well with everyone in the unit. Words couldn't describe how thankful I was for that. After so many years of keeping to myself and not getting involved with many friends or people in general, it was nice to have a core group of people I felt comfortable with. It felt even better that Brittany weaved her way into the group as well; it felt like my life was finally beginning.

My meeting with Rachel lasted two hours; two very long, coma inducing hours. I was convinced at this point that Rachel's ability to talk my ear off was how she won her court cases. She would either talk the Jury to death or bore the Judge into ruling in her favor. With that part of my day checked off my list there was only one thing left, Brittany. I forgot to bring a change of clothes to work that morning so I had to drive home to change before heading over to the park, it was a good thing I lived so close to work. I decided on a dark wash pair of skinny jeans and a white v neck shirt; pretty simple, but that's what Brittany liked. It was a wonderful feeling, knowing that she wanted me even without the heels and make up. I never had to pretend or put up a front with her; Brittany knew the real me and that just made me love her more.

I arrived at the park just as the sun was going down and sat on a bench near the fountain. This place was beautiful and I was proud that I found it, with a little help from Google of course. I pulled out my iPhone and dialed Brittany's number. I couldn't help but let the impatience take hold of me; I wanted her with me hours ago. I huffed and slouched down further in my seat when the ringing in my ear eventually turned to the sweet greeting on Brittany's voicemail.

"You've reached Dr. Brittany Pierce. I'm unavailable to take your call right now, but feel free to leave your name and number at the tone and I'll return your call shortly. If this call requires immediate medical assistance, please hang up and dial 911. If you need to be put in contact with the police department, do the same thing! Have a lovely day! Bye!"

I laughed, hanging up the phone instead of leaving a message. Brittany had the most intricate voicemail I'd ever heard but I loved it because it was all Brittany. I felt a pair of hands cover my eyes and I swear if it wasn't for the sweet smell of lavender, I would have backhanded who ever dared to touch me.

"Guess who?" Brittany cooed, kissing my cheek.

I didn't need to guess. The feeling of ease that washed over my entire body alone was enough to know that Brittany was here. _This is_ it, no turning back now, I thought to myself. Showtime.

* * *

**Brittany's POV**

After the double dose of adrenaline rushes, the first being my solo autopsy and the second being Santana's frisky endeavors, I was wired. I felt like pure caffeine had been injected directly into my bloodstream and my body was tingling.

Santana texted me midday and told me to meet her in Washington Park when I was done with my paperwork. From 2pm to 5pm my reports were constantly being interrupted by thoughts of Santana's earlier actions. I was sitting in the very chair she had straddled me on and that in and of itself made my muscles clench with want. When I had finished and signed the last page of the report and filed it into Beiste's accordion folder, I raced to my locker, shimmied out of my scrubs, and tugged on my boyfriend jeans and a loose sea foam green V- neck. I shrugged on my tan cardigan, shoved my feet back into my KEDS, and slammed my locker shut after tossing my purse over my shoulder. I was itching to see Santana and the day seemed to drag on forever; I wasn't going to waste another moment that I could spend with her.

I got to the park a little after 6:30pm when the sun had slipped below the treetops. I scanned the yard and a smile broke across my face when I spotted Santana's petite form perched on a bench on the other side of the fountain. I hastened my way over to her and kept my footsteps light when I got into her hearing range. She was distracted by the soothing visual of cascading water, so I was able to sneak up on her easily.

"Guess who?" I hushed, leaning in to peck her cheek softly. Her body, which had stiffened when I had covered her eyes, relaxed back into my touch. I rounded the bench and plopped down next to her, taking her hand in mine and lacing our fingers. "I love this place. You always know where to take me to make my day better. Even if my day has already been like super fantastic," I gushed, grinning at her with childlike awe. "So, now what? Are we gonna stay until the stars come out and try and count them? I've tried that before and it's really hard, but maybe it'll be easier now that there're two of us." I squeezed her hand tightly and brought it up to my lips for a soft peck. The day was turning out to be quite miraculous.

* * *

**Santana's POV**

I'd learned to appreciate Brittany's odd sense of humor over the years. At first it was confusing, but after a while she had me wishing I could see things through her eyes; it was charming and made her even more attractive. With her hand still wrapped in mine, I tugged her off of the bench and started walking down the concrete path towards the Washington Arch, caressing her hand with my thumb as we walked.

"I wanted to do something different, not just dinner or a movie or something like that. I know you love nature and being outside and I'm kind of an ass in the winter because I hate the cold, so I thought here was perfect," I confessed easily. Her smile was bright enough to light up the entire sky as if it were midday again. Knowing that I was the cause of that smile made my stomach do somersaults; Brittany made me feel things I'd never imagined. It was amazing to think that I'd only known her for about 4 years. What was my life without her? Pointless, empty, colorless. Those were three words that came to mind immediately.

As we reached the arch, I released Brittany's hand and walked up closer to it. It was stunning; the rough stone had been crafted into something beautiful, but it was still just as strong, just better cared for. That's exactly what Brittany had done to me; over the years she'd made me a better person. I turned around to face her and opened my arms for her to wrap herself up in me. She skipped forward, squeezing me tightly and I closed my eyes as I held her close, wishing that somehow our hearts would tether themselves together, eliminating all fear that they could ever break apart.

I reluctantly pulled away, taking a step backwards. "I want to talk to you about something. Actually, it's more like I _need_ to talk to you about something. You and Kurt are probably the most important people in my life Britt and there's something that I've been keeping from the two of you. It's actually something no one knows about me, but I love us together and I love you and I think I need to share this part of my past with you."

* * *

**Brittany's POV**

With Santana's hand firmly anchored to mine, my feet felt like they were hovering above the ground. Walking with her felt more like floating and no dance move could come close to the fluidity that our synched stride held. I listened intently as she explained her choice in venue and my smiled widened with each passing second. I loved that she put time and effort into this impromptu date and didn't just settle for a typical dinner and movie followed by one of our routine sleepovers.

When Santana slipped her hand out of mine, I felt the ground hard underfoot and sighed happily knowing that she was the one who could make me transcend the ordinary. I watched in awe as she glided up to the magnificent arch and placed her hand on the cool stone. Her movement was rife with grace and I marveled at her beauty as she slowly turned to face me. She held her arms out to me, beckoning me forward; I hesitated only to take in the image of her opening herself up to me so willingly. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her, burying my face into the sweet citrus of her neck, whispering a soft "hello" just below her ear. We stood wrapped in each other, sharing warmth that settled in my center like I had just swallowed hot chocolate. She pulled away from me again and my heart sank lightly in my chest. Being close to her felt like Christmas and my birthday and the last piece of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving; she was joy and excitement and comfort all wrapped into one and I couldn't help but sigh as those feelings wafted away with the increase in our bodily distance.

At first my heart hammered. When couples say they need to talk, it usually ends with one broken-hearted and the other shrugging away the remnants of a once fulfilling love. I grasped her hands in nervous desperation and she soothed me with her words that were soft like angel food cake. My heart quieted and I stroked my thumbs over her knuckles lovingly. "You can tell me anything, Santana. I want to know everything about you," I informed her, looking into her eyes so she'd see my genuine interest.

* * *

**Santana's POV**

Despite the fact that my nerves were playing pinball inside my ribcage, I felt a little better. Hearing the confirmation fall from her lips was the push I needed; Brittany helped me to understand that I could trust her. Her desperate attempt for contact after my announcement further affirmed this. I led her under the arch and down the path that weaved through the forest of trees, wrapping my arm around her waist as we walked together under the crimson sky.

"Britt, you know that I didn't exactly have the best childhood, that's no secret. I grew up in foster care and that alone could explain for how I am or I suppose how I used to be, but there's more to the story than just that. My mother did die when I was nine but it's was because-" My breath hitched in my throat; I could feel the lump forming and my airway closing up. Brittany stopped walking and brought her free hand to my face, stroking it gently before placing a kiss on my cheek and nodding for me to continue.

"My dad killed her Britt." I paused momentarily, silently praying that she wouldn't let go of me. When her grip tightened, I continued.

"He raped and killed my mom and I'm the one that found her." The words started to pour out of me, flowing out effortlessly like they'd been trapped for centuries.

"I don't remember much before that day. All I know is what he did to her and that the police found his remains in his car on the side of the road. The car had been set on fire; no one ever told me if he did it or if someone else did and really I didn't care. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, I suppose."

I choked back tears and continued on; I needed to get everything out before Brittany could respond. I didn't think I'd be able to talk about it again after this so, with a deep breath I resumed once again. "I lived in many different foster homes and I didn't get along very well with any of the families. I wasn't social enough or I wasn't a good fit; there were tons of reasons that they gave for moving me from family to family. There was always something wrong with me, so after moving around so much I stopped caring about other people. I had no reason to trust anyone and I learned to accept that. So basically, I paid attention to school and work and nothing else; I didn't need anyone because no one needed me. Undergrad is where I started talking to more people; becoming friends with Kurt and Sam helped a lot and then when you came along you changed me completely. You changed me for the better."

We had walked the circle around the park and were coming back up towards the arch. I stopped walking and looked up at it again before turning to Brittany.

"I'm like the arch, Britt. The tough stone exterior… that's me. I was stoic and solid my entire life, but you took the time and crafted me into someone beautiful. You make me feel beautiful Brittany. I'm still strong like I was before, but I'm better cared for now. Having you by my side and you taking care of me over these past few years has helped me accept that not everyone is like my dad, or those foster families. Now that I know you're not going anywhere and that this-"

I put my hand on her heart and hers on my own, allowing the tears to finally flow.

"This thing with you and me is real, I want you to understand me better and know why I am the way I am sometimes and why I really decided to become a Lawyer. Britt, I love you so much. You've done so much for me and I've never been able to thank you for it. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you before, but I needed to do it in my own time. I really, really hope you can understand all of this." I looked down at the floor, teardrops trickling down my face and onto the darkened pavement. I couldn't bring myself to look up and allow my eyes to meet hers. I was afraid of what I'd see, or what I had possibly lost.

* * *

**Brittany's POV**

My chest unclenched when Santana looped her arm around my waist and guided us down the worn path around the park. The sun was just peeking over the horizon and the sky was streaked crimson like the blood oranges we loved to snack on. Whatever she had to tell me was definitely important, but by the way she was acting, it was as if she was more afraid of my reaction than anything else. As the wind picked up I pulled her closer and shared a bit of my cardigan with her. Before we were even ten feet from the arch, she started weaving her tale.

She and I are so different and yet we fit so nicely; I'm the type of person who runs wildly and cannonballs into the pool while she takes each step hesitantly, allowing her body to acclimate slowly to the change in temperature. It's the same way in which we talk; I tend to blurt things out haphazardly, letting my thoughts babble forward in messy streams while she plots out what she wants to say, down to the verb. She started out slowly, testing the waters, making sure I wouldn't burn her or turn her to ice, and I had to be the one to coax her forward. I stopped us mid step and turned to her; she needed to know that nothing she told me would ever make me stop loving her. I squeezed her hand that was linked with mine while placing my free palm on her cheek. I brushed my thumb along the angle of her cheekbone and followed the trail with light kisses. Her muscles didn't relax, but she let out a soft sigh before releasing a confession that rocked me to my core. I could see that she was unleashing an inner darkness that had saturated the infrastructure of her life, so I held her tightly to assure her that if anything, I would be the last pillar standing to hold her up.

Her story turned from a drizzle into a downpour as she was finally able to admit the secrets of her past. I remained silent and allowed her the chance to rid herself of every last drop of inner turmoil. We had just gotten back to the arch when she pivoted towards me and filled me with words that made my chest ache. Just when I thought my heart would split itself in two, she guided my hand to her heart and placed her own hand on my chest. I could feel her erratic heartbeat under my palm and it made my own heart thump wildly. When the confession rain ceased, she cast her eyes to the ground, but our hands remained glued to their spots.

I watched, stunned, as the woman I had fallen in love with over that past 3+ years cracked open, revealing the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. I knew Santana was set in her ways and that she had a troubled past, but I could never, in a million years, have guessed at the horror she had endured. The tears that stained her cheeks made my throat constrict and I dropped my hand from her heart in a flash. I cupped her face with both of my hands and guided her eyes to meet mine. Her gaze was swimming in fear and I slowly shook my head to tell her silently that I was there and I wasn't leaving. I slid my hands down her neck, over her chest and around her waist as I pulled her close to me, willing my touch to send waves of healing energy into her. My own tears had started to fall and I wanted to use them to wash away the sins of her father, releasing her from a past as black as coal. I kissed along her jaw, tasting the saltwater and bringing her darkness into me so she wouldn't have to bear it alone. I couldn't think of anything comforting to say, so I let the truest words fall from my lips and land upon her nervously aching heart. "I love you, Santana. No matter what, I'll always love you."

* * *

**- to be continued -**

* * *

**klikeszombies**** - Brittana is always endgame :)**

**nayalove**** - Santana couldn't find another Brittany, even if she tried.**

**forblueskies - Hope that by the end of this chapter you are happy, you got some small preview of angst (spoiler alert, next chapter get ready for it) and some character interaction and fluff! Kurtana and Pezberry sass is coming, don't you worry!**


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